🏈🚗 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 20 🏈🚗
Unfair labor practice; Lady gets smoked by a car while on the air; Sports are stupid (read: the Packers lost).
Happy Monday, y’all —
While Aaron Rodgers was going full woke for the latter part of the NFL season on the COVID vaccine and the like, I respected his opinions. I did not necessarily agree with his opinions, but again, I respected what he had to say. I feel that listening to opinions from both sides of the aisle is how we grow as a society.
*Record scratch.*
Well, after his abysmal performance on Saturday night, let the record reflect that he is a nut job and I hope he never wins a single playoff game with his new team.
I am clearly handling the loss in a mature way, no doubt about it.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Poor little Canadian kid. He was immediately put to work on a snow day, not only shoveling show for his own house but also for the surrounding houses. Carter Trozzolo: Exhausted. I feel ya, buddy. I have the same feeling after working for 30 minutes straight with no breaks.
Pretty cruel by Carter’s parents to have him shovel for his neighbors. Carter must have been playing video games too late and was punished for doing so. Alternatively, maybe they wanted to teach him a lesson in the importance of giving to others and/or the importance of hard work.
And to that I write, teach that lesson on another day. A snow day is not supposed to be a bones day. Carter should be tossin’ back some maple syrup and Mountain Dew with his buddies while playing some puck at the local rink.
If Carter did not say to his mother, “Ma, the meatloaf! F*ck!” immediately when he got back into the house after throwing out his back all morning, and frankly probably all afternoon, I will be disappointed.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
As you all know, this section is dedicated to pop culture-esque news. No videos. However, this video was too good to pass up. Back to your regularly scheduled programming next week. Pinky promise. Unless I myself get hit by a car and have to spend time in the hospital. Then, Tubz Unfiltered will be taking a wittle hiatus.
“I just got hit by a car, but I’m OK.” And this was not her first time getting smoked by a car! It was her last week on the job, too, so what a way to go out.
Let’s address the elephant in the room: Timothy comes off as the most unsympathetic person in television news history. Holy smokes. A compassionate person would, probably instantly, say: “Oh my gosh, Tori, are you OK? That looked horrible. Do you need us to call the paramedics?!”
Instead, he asked, in somewhat of a passive aggressive tone while absolutely stone faced/emotionless, “Are you really OK, Tori?” He also tried to play doctor himself and asked Tori where she exactly got struck. “I just saw you disappear.” Sheesh, bro. His Twitter profile includes the following hashtag: #Nojagoffs. Timothy, sir, look in the mirror.
Was there a rift at the holiday party? Did Timothy pull a Tonya Harding?
For the record: the answer is no to both questions. Allegedly.
Tori’s Apple Watch probably told her she got hit by a car. Apple should make a new commercial about yet another benefit of its watch.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
*This section is longer than normal. Football!*
Bengals 19 Titans 16: Fast forward to the fourth quarter. 3rd-and-1 for the Titans in plus territory. ~8 minutes left. Surely, they will run the ball with the best running back in the league, right? Nope! They ran a QB read in which Tannehill kept it and did not gain an inch. They then went for it on fourth and did not convert after Derrick Henry was stuffed 😬 . The Bengals punted on the following possession, giving the ball back to the Titans.
3rd-and-5 for the Titans in their own territory. 20 seconds left. Surely, they will run the ball with the best running back in the league (and play for overtime), right? Nope! Mr. Blind as a Bat threw another interception, his third of the game.
Kicker Evan McPherson told one of his teammates on the sideline prior to trotting out onto the field for the eventual game-winning field goal, “Well, looks like it’s time to go to the AFC Championship.” Plums of steel.
For the Titans, they sacked Burrow nine (!!!) times and still lost. Big ole yikes.
49ers 13 Packers 10: After the Packers’ first drive of the game, I thought they were going to curb stomp the 49ers. Narrator: they did not. Instead, Aaron Rodgers played hero ball too many times, the offensive line got worked for the most of the night, and the special teams cost the Packers a chance to go to third NFC Championship game in as many years, a feat that has not been done since the Eagles did so in the early 2000s (2001-2003).
The defense played their best game of the season, by a country mile. Rashan Gary was an absolute monster (two sacks and three tackles for loss). And when he stuffed Elijah Mitchell on fourth down with six minutes left, I thought the game was in the bag. What proceeded to happen after that sequence was nothing but pain.
Assuming this is Rodgers’ last year in a Packer uniform, I think the Packers will be lucky to sniff an appearance in the NFC Championship Game within the next decade. Giddy up 😭.
Below are a few tidbits that really sum up how gut wrenching of a loss that was for Matt LaFleur and company.
Rams 30 Buccaneers 27: I did not watch this game because the NBC stream was not working for me. Looks like the Rams won, despite fumbling the ball four times. Good for them. I am confident that St. Louis residents are stoked for the team.
Chiefs 42 Bills 36: This bad boy may have been — screw it, this game was the best playoff game I have ever watched. 31 POINTS SCORED SCORED IN THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF REGULATION + THE OVERTIME PERIOD. The quarterbacking was on another level — literally in outer space — as Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes combined for 836 yards and eight touchdowns (Allen: 329 passing yards, 68 rushing yards, four touchdowns; Mahomes: 370 passing yards, 69 rushing yards (nice), four touchdowns).
Absolutely preposterous that 13 seconds left in regulation was enough time for Mahomes and company to get into field goal range for the eventual game-tying field goal.
The Bills are cursed. There is no other way to put it. If I were a Bills fan, I would body slam a table in true Bills Mafia fashion for good measure, then figuratively hop in the bathtub with a toaster.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz