✈️ Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 23 ✈️
An apology to the readers; little kid ripping the slopes; Frontier-Spirit merging; Recap of the Big Game.
Happy Monday Tuesday, y’all!
I write about people and/or entities (usually sports teams) shitting the bed, so let’s call a spade a spade — I shit the bed by not publishing on Monday. No excuses. I actually have one excuse. An Oklahoma casino robbed my buddy and I blind on Thursday, and I have been in a tailspin ever since. That was the first time I gambled in Oklahoma, and it will be the last because not only did the casino rob us blind by giving us shitty cards, they charged us 50 cents per hand to play blackjack. (This is standard across the state apparently.) That same casino also may or may not be cooking the books. Why do I think that? Because I lost money. Pretty simple. As a result, based on principle, I will not step foot in that state ever again.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
What a bundle of joy this little munchkin is. Not really sure on the move to attach a microphone to a kid for social media likes and views, but I am not a parent nor will I be one for a quite some time so who I am to say how people should parent their kids.
Anywho, this powder-saurus is absolutely shredding. And even when he fell down and got stuck, he still popped right back up and was ready to conquer the beast. We could learn a thing or two from this video. Not only because of the positive attitude he displayed, but also because it appears that people of all ages suffer from “indiscernable verbal struggles.” #Relatable.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
The Wall Street Journal: Frontier to Buy Spirit Airlines in Cash-and-Stock Deal
Two of the crappiest airlines are joining forces, and together, they will become the fifth-largest domestic airline. I am going to out on a limb and proclaim that, together, they will still offer very cheap deals for flights while charging up the butt for checked bags and carry-on bags (excluding “personal items”). Wrinkly clothes are a byproduct of flying Frontier and Spirit on the cheap and I reckon that will not change going forward, either. Then again, if you arrive at your destination in one piece (read: alive), does it really matter if the windows are held together with duct tape and you sort of feel unclean, while uttering expletives under your breath because neither airline is ever on time? Not really. More personal preference than anything else.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Rams 23 Bengals 20: What has been the Bengals’ achilles heel all year long — the play of the offensive line — was on full display in the Big Game, as the Rams got home seven times on Sunday. Aaron Donald got home twice, on top of three quarterback hits. Not to toot my horn, but I wrote last week that the Rams were going to win because of Aaron Donald. I know that Cooper Kupp (8 catches/92 yards/2 touchdowns) was named Super Bowl MVP, and deservedly so, but a case can definitely be made for Donald as MVP.
There was a lot of talk about the holding call against Cooper Kupp on 3rd-and-6 toward the end of the game. It was a ticky-tack call, without a doubt, but it did not cost the Bengals the Super Bowl. Put another way, the zebras did not give that game to the Rams. The Rams, and their fans in St. Louis and Los Angeles, won it fair and square. However, do you know who did give that game to the Rams? Eli Apple. That dude got torched worse than an apple that high school kids use as a pipe to smoke the devil’s lettuce. And if you thought he got torched on the field, the flames were much hotter on Twitter.
I hope the Bengals and their fans cherished their first Super Bowl appearance since 1988. It may be awhile until they are back. Yes, I know they have Joe Burrow and Jamar Chase, both of whom are very young and not even in the prime of their careers, but it is so damn hard to make it to the Super Bowl.
Finally, congrats to Matt Stafford. He went from not winning a single playoff game during his time in Detroit, to winning the Super Bowl in his first year with the Rams. Please, though, for the love of all that is holy, let’s stop the discourse on whether or not he will be a Hall of Famer until he officially retires.
P.S. The halftime show was lit. One critique: 50 Cent needs to hit the gym and he needs to hit it very soon.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz