🏀 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 27 🏀
Lady goes face first onto the concrete; Tom Brady is a liar; March Madness!
Happy Monday, y’all!
March Madness is finally here, and you have a chance to win some money. I am hosting a bracket pool on Yahoo! and I will be disappointed if you do not join. Oh, you have not watched a lick of college basketball all season? Not to worry, because every blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. Remember that. Below is all of the necessary information.
Link: https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/32285/invitation?key=16ed36523b9a337d
Password: GoBadgers
$20 buy-in, due by 10 AM CST on Thursday. If payment is not received prior to tip-off, your bracket will be disqualified.
My Venmo: @Rex-Sheild
1st, 2nd, and 3rd place will be paid out.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
What started out with a little innocent smooch escalated quickly. Maybe a confrontation went down prior to the recording and so Karen this female wanted to be a little passive aggressive after the confrontation subdued. She is probably pissed about the absurd gas prices and took that aggression out on some innocent bystanders. Understandable. But for her to show the camera, and the internet, her butt cheeks? Have some class, lady. Also, it looks like she was not wearing underwear? Disgusting. Not to mention, she resisted arrest and evaded the police — disgusting x2! She clearly does not back the blue.
Did she deserve to get tased? Probably not, but the way it all transpired was hilarious. She fell down, face first, like a ton of bricks.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Tom Brady is a 7-time Super Bowl champ. Good for him. Do you know what else he is (besides a cheater; *cough* Deflategate *cough*)? A liar. He said, 41 days ago, that he was retiring from the game of football.
If you wear a tinfoil hat, you would say this was all planned. He wanted the media to drum up his retirement, and rightfully so, only to pull a fast one and un-retire on the day of Selection Sunday to divert all the attention toward him. Not to mention, he did not want to share the stage with Big Ben for his Hall of Fame induction. The dumb-dumb in me wants to wholeheartedly believe this theory.
Another reason why Brady is a bold-faced liar: In his retirement post that was published across his social media channels, he said he was retiring to spend more time with his family. Huh. Interesting. He has also continuously touted himself as a devout family man. Football takes him away from his family quite a bit, don’t you think?
The real loser in this whole ordeal is the guy who bought the ball from Brady’s then-final touchdown pass for a whopping $518,000. Buyer’s remorse like you read about.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Inject this all into my veins. Best time of the year, bar none. I will give y’all some tidbits to consider while filling out your bracket: 17 of the last 19 national champions finished in the top 20 of Adjusted Offensive Efficiency and Adjusted Defensive Efficiency according to KenPom metrics (UCONN in 2014 finished 39th in Adjusted Offensive Efficiency, 10th defensively; Baylor in 2021 finished 22nd in Adjusted Defensive Efficiency, 2nd offensively) and 14 of the last 19 national champions finished in the top 15 of Adjusted Offensive Efficiency and Adjusted Defensive Efficiency.
This year, here are the teams that are currently top 20 in both Adjusted Offensive Efficiency and Adjusted Defensive Efficiency: Gonzaga (1st, 7th), Arizona (5th, 20th), Houston (10th, 11th), Baylor (9th, 14th), and UCLA (15th, 12th). Kentucky is close (4th, 27th) as are Auburn (24th, 8th), Kansas (6th, 29th), and Villanova (8th, 28th). Considering where UCONN finished in 2014, Tennessee is within striking distance (36th, 3rd).
Let’s break down the bracket. P.S. I did not do a ton of research, mostly just spit ballin’ below.
West
This region is clearly (1) Gonzaga’s to win. Duke’s defense has been quite bad as of late, and the TTU bigs do not match up well at all against Drew Timme or Chet Holmgren. So, I fully expect Gonzaga to make the Final Four for the second-straight year.
Duke should not have been a 2 seed. I am praying that (6) Michigan State and Tom Izzo end Coach K’s career, but I doubt that happens. Why? Because MSU could be on upset alert against (11) Davidson, who can score the basketball with the best of ‘em, though they cannot play a lick of defense.
(3) Texas Tech-Duke in the Sweet 16 would be a great matchup, especially considering how great TTU is defensively (1st in AdjD). I like TTU in that one, but I reckon the refs will give the game to Duke.
With the way that (6) Alabama is playing, I would not be surprised if (11) Rutgers or (11) Notre Dame pulls off the upset.
Will the (4) Muss Bus (Arkansas) run outta gas against the (13) Catamounts?? Vermont won its conference championship game by almost 40 points and have three players that shot at least 40% from beyond the arc for the season. Counterpoint: Arkansas’ JD Notae is a walking bucket, and the Razorbacks have played well down the stretch.
Best first-round matchup: (4) Arkansas vs. (13) Vermont.
East
Poor (9) Marquette. First appearance in the tourney since 2019. They have not won a game in the tournament since 2013. And they draw (8) North Carolina and Armando Bacot (16.5 points and 12.5 rebounds per game).
I think UNC could give (1) Baylor fits in the second round, but the game is in Fort Worth, roughly 90 miles northwest of Waco. Advantage: Baylor.
A very popular upset pick in this region will be (11) Virginia Tech over Texas (6). The Hokies ran Duke out of the gym in the ACC finals and are 13-2 in their last 15 games.
Many predicted (3) Purdue to make it to the Final Four at the start of the season, but they are too bad defensively IMO (100th in AdjD) to make it to New Orleans. Are they good enough to advance to the Sweet 16? Very much so.
I like (2) Kentucky to come out of this region, but they will have their hands full against (7) Murray State (35th in AdjO, 40th in AdjD) or (10) San Francisco (45th in AdjO, 19th in AdjD).
(4) UCLA has not been healthy all year, but a presumed Sweet 16 matchup against Baylor would be a great one. Howevah, let’s not overlook UCLA’s potential matchup against (5) St. Mary’s in the second round.
Best first-round matchup: (7) Murray State vs. (10) San Francisco.
South
I love (1) Arizona, winners of the Pac-12 regular season and conference tournament, so much. The Wildcats are a lot of fun to watch.
A lot of people will pick (12) UAB over (5) Houston, given the recent superstar play of Jordan “Jelly” Walker. During the Conference USA tournament, Walker averaged 31 points, 3.3 assists, and 5 rebounds per game. He was also a member of the 50/40/90 club over that span — 56% from the field, 40% from three, and 91% from the charity stripe.
(7) Ohio State is limping into the tournament. Their first-round opponent, (10) Loyola Chicago, is not.
Please give us (3) Tennessee and (2) Villanova in the Sweet 16.
I think (4) Illinois will win, but (13) Chattanooga matches up decently well with the Illini.
Best first-round matchup: (5) Houston vs. (12) UAB.
Midwest
OK, I’m getting tired so I will wrap things up shortly.
Helluva draw for the (3) Badgers, the top No. 3 seed, as they play in Milwaukee to start things off. If they beat (14) Colgate (more on them soon) then beat either (6) LSU or (11) Iowa State in the second round, they will play in the Sweet 16 in Chicago. The squad will not even have to board a flight if they advance to the second weekend — great news! 8:50 PM CST tip-off time on Friday is bullsh*t, though.
Colgate has won their past 15 games against Schools of the Blind. Good for them. But I will give them credit where credit is due — they are wet from beyond the arc, ranking 2nd in three-point percentage (40.26%). However, 6th graders could play better defense than Colgate. It ranks 203rd in AdjD, which is fourth-worst among NCAA Tournament teams. The team also does not have Johnny Davis. Advantage: Wisconsin.
(8) San Diego State is 2nd in AdjD. If it gets past (9) Creighton, can it pull off the upset against (1) Kansas in the 2nd round? 👀
Iowa, who won the Big Ten tourney, got screwed with a 5 seed, especially since they presumably have to play a very formidable opponent in (4) Providence in the second round in Buffalo. Iowa’s Fran McCaffery has been at the helm since 2010 and has never advanced to the Sweet 16. 😡
Speaking of Providence, they are only a 1.5-point favorite over (13) South Dakota State (12th in AdjO, 220th in AdjD). Among all NCAA Tournament teams, South Dakota State is the worst defensive team according to KenPom.
BRING ON (2) AUBURN AND BRUCE PEARL IN CHICAGO.
Best first-round matchup: Who cares at this point; I need to go to bed because it is 10:37 PM CST as I type. Way past my bedtime. (The answer is obviously Wisconsin.)
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz