🚨 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 3 🚨
Happy Monday, y'all !
New platform! The previous platform I used was more vanilla than going on date after date and only watching Netflix, without the Chill. At the end of the day, though, there are three bases and a home plate (h/t @MotrixxMusic), so might as well touch ‘em all. Let's get right into it ...
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Mr. Truck Driver, presumably on his way to get a 32-oz Mountain Dew before embarking on an excursion to the middle of bumblef*ck, was a bit too antsy at the green light and blared his horn. Mr. Jeep Driver, instead of simply waving in his rearview mirror and driving forward, went full heal and began dancing.
The dance moves were absolutely terrible. All he was doing was shuffling his feet, swaying his hips, and flaring his arms in incoherent fashion. He’s either gotta go back to the drawing board, go to more weddings, or watch the Hips Don’t lie music video. Actually maybe all of the above.
Despite that ineptitude, road rage was not on this guy’s mind, so ironically enough his dance moves represented one giant leap for mankind in ultimately reducing road rage. Love to see it.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Alabama 31 Florida 29: Alabama could do no wrong in the first quarter (21 to 3); receivers were more wide open than Texas and Florida during the pandemic. Yet the Gators, relying on the run game (245 yards for the game), actually took it to Alabama in the second half and scored on three straight possessions to get within two, 31-29, late in the fourth. UF’s two-point attempt late, which was necessary due to a missed extra point in the 2nd quarter, was as awkward as when the movie theater attendant says, “enjoy the show,” and you reply, “you too.” (24:25)
The consensus O/U line was 60. Pushing in gambling is like Tom Brady kissing his son on the lips — it’s not the worst possible situation, but it’s not ideal at all and kind of uncomfortable to watch.
Cowboys 20 Chargers 17: So. Many. Damn. Penalties. 20 in fact! After sh*tting the bed last week, Greg the Leg kicked the game-winning field goal, which really bailed out Mike McCarthy’s horrendous clock management at the end of the game. Rest assured, if Greg the Leg would have missed it, Jerry Jones would have had his ass shipped to Timbuktu, with McCarthy joining him after the season.
How much of a hot take is it for me to pronounce that Tony Pollard has looked far more explosive than Zeke this season??
Herbert’s interception right before the end of the third quarter, in the red zone, was absolutely no bueno and turned out to be a pivotal point in the game. Also, while the “sack” that Herbert took (2nd & goal from the 7 with ~5:30 left) was such a bad call I’m convinced the ref that made said call is legally blind, Herbert shouldn’t have put himself in that situation to begin with.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
“Jennifer Aniston Hopes Her Next Relationship Is with Someone 'Not Necessarily in the Industry’”
Here’s the context: Aniston was asked whether celebrities and non-celebrities can be in a relationship. Her response …
“Of course,” Aniston replied, with a face (see pictures below) that made it seem she thought the question was the dumbest she has ever heard. “That's what I'm sort of hoping for is not necessarily somebody in the industry itself. That’d be nice.”
There have been a lot of people online reacting — actually, overreacting — to this news. So, allow me to be the comedic voice of reason. While you’re more than free to call me a skeptic or part of the woke brigade, Aniston is simply keeping her options open and also getting into character. Nothing more, nothing less. First, her actual response is a little wishy washy and far from concrete.
In addition, it sounds like, from the interview, her character in The Morning Show (on Apple TV+) is playing dumb when it comes to a non-celebrity having the hots for her, which possibly makes real-life Aniston wonder:
Hey, my past relationships with celebrities haven’t gone swimmingly, so maybe dudes that have a dad bod and spend 11 hours on couch every Sunday during football season with a big ole lipper in are worth a try.
P.S. I could have turned this into a plea that I’m someone that is definitely not in the entertainment industry and also single, but that would be a massive waste of space. I’m also not into hunting for cougars because I don’t trust myself with a gun.
If you chuckled, feel free to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz