🍿 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 32 🍿
Twitter has a big dump in their pants, Kyrie Irving goes scorched earth against Celtics in loss.
Happy Monday, y’all!
For those that celebrate, hope you had an enjoyable Easter with your family. Great day here in Dallas to celebrate Christ’s resurrection as it was 80 degrees and sunny. Literally not a cloud in the sky. I heard through the grapevine that weather in Wisconsin was in the 30s. Bummer.
Anyways, I hope we can agree on the following: the best Easter candy is either the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg or Starburst jellybeans, and the worst Easter candy? Peeps, by a country mile. Peeps are trash.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Wall Street Journal: Elon Musk Makes $43 Billion Bid for Twitter, Says ‘Civilization’ At Stake
“Civilization at stake.” “Best and final bid.” LOL. This whole thing has been a master troll job by Musk and I am here for it. I mean, he offered $54.20/share. The last three numbers? 420. He has f*ck-you money, so I cannot blame him for wanting to get in the mud. In case you did not know, Musk recently bought a 9.2% stake in the company. He then decided, “Actually screw that, lemme just own the whole thing.” Twitter does not want that to happen because they have a big dump in their pants.
There is probably a less than 1% chance that Musk ends up owning 100% of Twitter. Might as well be zero, actually. First off, Twitter recently established a poison pill manuever that would block Musk from owning more than 15% of the company. Plus, Prince Alawaleed bin Talal, a major Twitter stakeholder hailing from Saudi Arabia — a country that is wholeheartedly against free speech (red flag, much??) — already rejected the offer. (The dude and his company, Kingdom Holding Company, together own a 4.4% stake in the bird app, according to Bloomberg Billionaires Index.)
Yet, if Musk’s offer were to be accepted, the theatrics would be of epic proportions.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Boston Celtics 115 Brooklyn Nets 114: Inject this series into my veins, but let’s make sure I am sanitized first please. Kyrie Irving (18 points in the final quarter and 39 for the game) was unconscious in this one, while flipping off the rowdy Boston crowd and making other unfriendly gestures toward them in retaliation to their antics throughout the game, and Mr. Flat Earther hit a filthy three to give the Nets a three-point advantage with 46 seconds left. Jaylen Brown answered on the other end with a quick layup. Durant missed a contested three on the Nets’ next possession and one would have thought that Boston was going to call a timeout after Durant’s miss, given it had a timeout remaining. Spoiler alert: the Celtics did not. Big truss (S/O Mark Ingram) by Ime Udoka.
A beautiful pump fake and step-through by Marcus Smart eventually led to a Jayson Tatum game-winning layup on — yep, you guessed it — Kyrie at the buzzer.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
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