⚾ Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 38 ⚾
One swinger swung too hard; NBA Finals Game 1 & 2 recap + NHL Playoffs; New section alert
Happy Monday, y’all!
However, if Culver’s brings back Buffalo Chicken Tenders and I get one that looks like the above, I will not hesitate, though my first bite will be from one of the sides — not the front or back. Because of the implication.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Mormon influencer exposes ‘soft swinging’ secrets on TikTok: ‘Everyone hooked up’
Jesus, take the wheel. I go on TikTok about as often as Rosie O’Donnell goes for a walk, but I guess this was a big story on CrackTok.
An old adage is that you learn something new every day, which certainly rings true here because I never knew there were tiers of swinging. Turns out there is “soft swinging” and just plain ole swinging. “Soft swinging” means, according to this swingers group, not going too far. Whatever that means. Does that mean playing some tonsil hockey and being a little touchy feely? Does it mean everything and anything except for sexual intercourse? Maybe “soft swinging” is best described as taking a bunch of practice swings, but not actually intentionally making any contact with the ball … if you catch my drift? I’m taking a swing in the dark there, pun 100% intended.
Sticking with that analogy, the Mormon influencer intentionally made contact with the ball (read: went “all the way”), which was against the rules. Were those written or unwritten rules? Do swinging groups/communities have a code of conduct they have to abide by? What about a memorandum of understanding? Regardless, as I have said many times offline, you have to follow the rules, whether they are written or unwritten. Ms. Spray Tan clearly did not get the memo.
So as a result, the non-coffee drinker’s home run (??) with a fellow swinger appeared to end her marriage. Sucks to suck because swingers are weird as hell.
Related Reading: What I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Swinger & 4 Women Get Real About How Swinging Affected Their Relationships
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Celtics-Warriors Series Tied Up: The Warriors had Game 1 in the bag, until they botched it like Tony Romo did in the 2006 Wild Card round against the Seahawks. The Celtics were 9-of-12 from deep in the fourth quarter and went on a 17-0 scoring run, outscoring the Warriors 40-16 in the quarter to take Game 1, 120-108. Apropos of nothing, as noted in Volume 37, the Warriors have made the Finals six times in the last eight years (2015-2019, 2022), which means they have played in six Game 1s. They won Game 1 in four straight Finals (2015-2018), but have now dropped Game 1 in each of their last two Finals appearances. 2019 ended in a loss to the Raptors and Kawhi Leonard. Will 2022 end the same way?
Who the hell knows, because the Warriors dominated the 3rd quarter (as they have often done over the years) in Game 2, 35-14, en route to a 107-88 victory to even the series, despite Klay Thompson playing like dog piss (4/19 FG, 1/8 3PT). Steph Curry, who did not play in the fourth quarter, did not play like dog piss and led all scorers with 29 points. Curry, Kevon Looney, and Otto Porter Jr. each registered a plus/minus of +24.
And while Jayson Tatum paced the Celtics with 28 points, that man had a plus/minus of -36. That is about as bad as Bill Clinton telling the entire nation he did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, when in actuality he did in fact have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky.
Hockey That I Did Not Watch! The Avalanche came in like a wrecking ball but did not act as crazy as Miley Cyrus used to, allowing them to beat the Oilers on Saturday night, 4-2, to take a 3-0 lead in the Western Conference Finals. Colorado will look to close out the series on Monday (7pm CST, TNT). With a victory in Game 4, the Avs will clinch a spot in the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 2001.
The Rangers were up 2-0 halfway through the second period and looked to extend their series lead to 3-0, but the Lightning torched ‘em the rest of the way, scoring two goals in the third period to win, 3-2. Game 4 is on Tuesday (7pm CST, ESPN/ESPN+).
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
New section alert! Thought I would spice things up a bit and add a new section, which will be a bit more educational in nature. I was listening to a podcast episode on Recode Media with Peter Kafka recently and the guest was Molly White, a software engineer who started the website, “Web3 is going just great.” The website showcases all of the failings in the crypto and NFT spaces. In reading through the website, it is difficult to not be skeptical of the future in those spaces, but the website is of course only one side of the story.
Read for yourself here.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz