🚨 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 7 🚨

Happy Monday, y’all!

Life is too short to worry about the little things, except when one of your friends is obsessed with reading horoscopes. You may need to worry about your friendship with that person moving forward.

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VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://www.tiktok.com/@princezee/video/7015682167770533126

I could never live in New York City. My anxiety would be sky high at all times. Some dude was just like, “Eff it, I’m getting out of this hell hole,” and proceeded to attempt to jump out of the bus window. What world are we living in? Where are the manners? At least yell expletives at the bus driver to get him or her to pull over immediately. Then again, bus drivers listen to no one, but that’s a story for a different day. Regardless, you love to see the other passengers try to prevent this man from breaking every bone in his body.

But then things escalated, and they escalated quickly.

The caucasian man got bit on the hand, and the dude halfway out of the window spat at the other gentleman. You can’t be doing either of those two acts during these unprecedented times. “Just go,” said the man that got spat on. Sounds like a breakup gone wrong.

(In all seriousness, I hope that guy that attempted to hop out of the window is doing OK.)

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🏆 SPORTZ 🏆

I didn’t watch any college football games over the weekend, so you’re getting two NFL games instead.

Jacksonville Jaguars 23 Miami Dolphins 20: This one, which took place across the pond, was pretty much the equivalent of what takes places after Thanksgiving dinner — a snooze fest.

1. The Jaguars completely screwed the pooch when they went for it on 4th down to start the fourth quarter, instead of kicking a 28-yard field field goal to go up a touchdown. They were shut down worse than a young gent approaching a lady while wearing a puka necklace. Urban Meyer and bad decision-making? Huh.

2. Luckily, the kicker for the Jaguars (no. 15 above), who looks like he finished going through puberty last week, saved ‘em with a game-winning field goal. The win snapped a 20-game losing streak for Duuuuval.

Dallas Cowboys 35 New England Patriots 29 (OT): Wild sequence of events in the last three minutes of regulation and during the overtime period.

1. Cowboys kicker Greg Zuerlein missed a 51-yard field goal to keep the Pats up, 21-20, with under three minutes remaining.

2. A pick-six by none other than Cowboys cornerback Trevon Diggs on the ensuing possession. Two-point conversion failed. 26-20, Dallas.

3. First play from scrimmage on the next drive, Mac Jones connected with Kendrick Bourne on a 75-yard pitch and catch. The Pats converted the two-point conversion to take the lead, 29-26.

4. Greg the Leg, Mr. Balls of Steel himself, made a 49-yard field goal with 20 seconds left to force overtime, after the ‘Boys converted a 4th down earlier in the drive off a nifty catch from Cedrick Wilson and picked up 24 yards on 3rd and 25 to get into FG range.

5. The Patriots punted on 4th and 3 from the Cowboys’ 46 on the first possession of overtime?!

6. Cowboys got the ball back, and eight plays later, Dak (445 passing yards) had CeeDee Lamb (149 yards, 2 touchdowns) with one-on-one coverage. No bueno if you’re the Patriots. 35-yard touchdown. Game over.

The 33rd Team @The33rdTeamFB

The dots have to make it more painful for the #Patriots fans

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🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: These Kwik Trip 'superfans' had their wedding photo shoot at the convenience store

Love to see this. There is not a brand that I am more loyal to than Kwik Trip, even while living in Texas. Now, would I take my wedding pictures there? Most likely not, but that is besides the point. Let’s break down the pictures of these newlyweds.

1. Big Buddy offers exquisite value — there is no denying that— and there is something about sipping Mountain Dew out of a styrofoam cup that simply hits different. However, do you know of an item that Kwik Trip sells that is better than Big Buddy and also better than seeing those three dots on iMessage pop up after midnight? Kwik Trip’s chocolate milk. Give me an IV of that sweet goodness, and I’ll die (due to the rapid onset of Type II diabetes) a happy man. S/O Thomas Rhett.

   So while I would have clearly chosen to showcase the chocolate milk, I do not have any qualms about the Big Buddy being on display. On the other hand …

   

2. What the hell are we doing here? I know it is supposed to resemble cutting a wedding cake, but that cinnamon roll looks harder than a rock. When the photographer asked the couple what items they wanted to showcase, and the couple identified a cinnamon roll as one of those items BUT not the cheese-filled breadsticks, the photographer should have kindly said she cannot work with people that display such outrageously bad judgment and then proceeded to hang up the phone. (If the photographer picked the cinnamon roll, the same outcome applies.)

   Altogether, it was a gigantic missed opportunity to recreate the below picture by substituting a breadstick in place of the spaghetti. Said picture would survive generations. Instead, they are left with a picture of themselves cutting a cold, rock-hard cinnamon roll in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Quite a fall from grace.

   Either way, best of the luck to the newlyweds.

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If you chuckled, feel free to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz