🥃 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 107
Doritos-flavor liquor; NFL Recap + NCAA Rule In Jeopardy; Luke Combs
Happy Tuesday, y’all!
As we get older, we all have baggage. This applies not only to romantic relationships but to platonic relationships as well. Frankly, it applies to life in general.
This is a nuanced discussion but on a very basic level: Is your baggage carry-on material? Do you have to check your baggage? Is your baggage over the 50-pound limit?
If we wanted to get into the weeds just a bit, you might think your baggage is carry-on material, but then an airline employee requires you to put it in the measuring box because he or she has a stick up his or her ass. And just like that, you have to check your baggage.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Doritos rolls out $65 bottle of nacho cheese-flavored liquor that ‘tastes like the real thing’
This liquor is the heartburn-diarrhea combo you want to avoid like the plague. If a bottle of Tums is not attached to the bottle, that’s a disservice to the customers, beyond the disservice that the liquor is already to the public at large.
I don’t want to be a Grinch, though, so let’s spread some holiday cheer and give this a chance: Mix it with Mountain Dew, include a pair of cargo shorts, cheap Oakleys, and patchy facial hair, and you’ve got one heck of a starter pack for a dude about to get a DUI.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
NFL WEEK 15 RECAP
BUCS 34 Packers 20: Aaaaand just like that, Green Bay sucks again. After the Packers won three straight to position themselves firmly in the playoff race, they pooped the bed against two slap-dick quarterbacks in the last two weeks. The reason for the poopy bed? Defensive coordinator Joe Barry. Read more here.
BILLS 31 Cowboys 10: I wrote two weeks ago that Dak Prescott should be the frontrunner for MVP. I wasn’t wrong, but the take did not age like fine wine as the Cowboys were embarrassed on the road by Buffalo and Al-Qaeda fanatic, Sean McDermott. The Bills punched ‘em in the mouth from the jump, scoring touchdowns on three of their first four possessions. Without Cowboys DT Johnathan Haskins along the defensive front, running back James Cook was able to run wild and looked like prime O.J. Simpson (minus the alleged murder). Cook finished with 221 total yards on 27 touches.
SEAHAWKS 20 Eagles 17: Quarterback Drew Lock, the former Eminem wannabee who has transformed into a mature adult, started in place of the injured Geno Smith and engineered a 10-play, 92-yard drive that ended with a beauty of a touchdown pass to Jaxon Smith-Njigba on third down with under thirty seconds left to take a 20-17 lead, Seattle’s first lead of the game.
Jalen Hurts threw his second interception on the ensuing possession to seal Philly’s third consecutive loss. Are the Eagles frauds all of a sudden? Maybe they’ve been frauds all along. We’ll see.
IS THE NCAA BLEEDING OUT?
The NCAA, as we all experienced for decades, became a thing of the past once players were able to earn money from their Name, Image, and Likeness. Before we know it, the current model will become a thing of the past.
In an antitrust lawsuit brought by six state Attorney Generals against the NCAA, a West Virginia federal court granted a preliminary injunction and enjoined the Association from enforcing its rule that multi-time transfers must sit out for a full academic year unless granted a waiver. The ruling is in effect until the end of the spring season and led to several basketball players suiting up for their respective teams last week. The transfer portal is already the Wild Wild West, and now we might be adding some tequila shots to the chaos. Buckle up.
It should not be a surprise that NCAA Commissioner Charlie Baker is seeking an antitrust exemption from Congress. Good luck with that.
If you were the NCAA Commissioner, what would you do? UCLA Bruins head football Chip Kelly recently had unique solutions to fix the mess in college football.
Football should be separate from other sports.
All football programs should be independent, like Notre Dame is.
64-team Power-5 conference with a conference commissioner. 64-team Group of 5 conference.
Seven games against the teams in the same geographic region every year. Five games against teams in other regions on a rotating basis (i.e. West versus South, West versus East, etc.).
One TV contract for all 132 teams.
Each conference would have a sponsor.
Revenue-sharing with the players.
Kelly might look like Elmer Fudd, but the man might be cookin’ with some gas. Of note, Kelly has not been the only coach to advocate for sharing revenue with the players. Michigan head football coach Jim Harbaugh previously advocated for such a move.
Classifying the players as employees and sharing revenue with them is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
Luke Combs Accidentally Sued a Fan For $250,000. Now He’s Apologizing and Sending Her Thousands
This poor lady, who is suffering from congestive heart failure, sold Luke Combs-themed mugs on Amazon, trying to make a quick buck. She’s sick and her hospital bills are likely through the roof. I don’t blame her. She “sold only 18 tumblers for a total of $380,” but still had a default judgment entered against her for $250,000 for selling unauthorized merchandise. She was served via email — a new method of service in Illinois — which went to her junk mail folder.
If I may, which I will because it’s my newsletter, the headline is not entirely accurate. Luke Combs did not accidentally sue the fan. He engaged with a law firm, Vogt IP, that files lawsuits en masse against people and entities that infringe upon Combs’ intellectual property, regardless of the severity of the infringement. In 2019 alone, the firm sued over ten thousand counterfeiters, according to the firm website. Combs likely has very little knowledge, if any, about every lawsuit that is filed.
Rest assured, Combs righted the wrong and gave her $11,000, double the amount that was frozen in her Amazon account. Combs also wiped away the legal debt and “said that he was going to make his own tumblers to sell in his official online merchandise store and that money from sales of those tumblers will also go to Harness to help with her medical bills.”
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz