🥤 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 112
Stanley Thief; NFL Recap + NBA Coaching News; Reducing Anxiety
Happy Tuesday, y’all!
I found myself at a comedy club on Saturday night. Laugh-out-loud funny. I went to the club booker beforehand and asked whether I could say a few words at the start of the show to get the crowd hootin’ and hollerin’ just a bit before the main acts. “Trust me, I’m funny” was the humble explanation I gave. And yet, I was looked at as if I had a hint of the ‘tism.
So I’ll stick to writing Tubz Unfiltered for now. Let’s break bread.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
California woman arrested in theft of 65 Stanley cups — valued at nearly $2,500
What is in the water over there in California that makes people want to steal ish day in and day out? California is known as the Golden State. More like the Lootin’ State!
In case you were unaware, Stanley’s are a hot commodity right now — one Alabama high schooler, for instance, has 67 Stanley tumblers, according to the Wall Street Journal, which she has collected over the past year.
So while this 23-year-old female likely wanted to fit in with the crowd, stealing 65 Stanley cups is excessive, aggressive, and stupid. Point blank, it was poor planning.
You can’t wake up one day like this 23-year-old female presumably did, and hatch up a plan in your head or on the back of a napkin. Steal a couple one day, steal a few more the next day or the day after that, have everything on a spreadsheet, watch National Treasure for inspiration, and say a prayer every hour. Ironclad.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
NFL DIVISIONAL ROUND RECAP
Reminder: I didn’t watch the games this past weekend because I was out of town. Rest assured, recaps will be back to normal for Volume 113.
The Packers lost to the 49ers in a game they should have won. Stop me if you’ve heard that before. The season for the Green and Gold was a massive success by all accounts, but keeping kicker Anders Carlson on such a long leash all season was puzzling. Read more on that here.
Three Josh Allen-Patrick Mahomes matchups in the playoffs. Three wins for Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs. Mahomes will be making his sixth appearance in the AFC Championship Game. He has been a starter for six seasons. Wild. Over 50 million people — the most-watched divisional playoff game in league history — saw Buffalo kicker Tyler Bass shank a 44-yard field goal that would have tied the game with under two minutes left, prompting several to send him death threats on social media after the game. Bass deleted his social media accounts as a result. Wild (and absurd). Has Buffalo’s Super Bowl window closed? They “will be about $49M over the salary cap next year and likely going to have to keep pushing salary with the same team again,” per the founder of OverTheCap.
Ravens QB Lamar Jackson dominated, throwing for 152 passing yards and two touchdowns (16/22, 121.8 passer rating) and rushing for 100 yards and two touchdowns. Baltimore is back in the AFC Championship Game for the first time since 2012, the year they won the Super Bowl.
The Detroit Lions (!!) will play in the NFC Championship Game for the first time since 1991. Good for them and the city of Detroit. The Washington Commanders and the Dallas Cowboys are now the only franchises to not make an appearance in a Conference Championship Game this century.
BUCKS FIRE HEAD COACH
In a stunner, the Milwaukee Bucks shoved their head coach, Adrian Griffin, to the unemployment line on Tuesday. Griffin’s tenure (43 games) is tied for the third shortest HC stint in NBA history. So why did the organization hand Griffin a pink slip, even though the team is 30-13 and 2nd in the East (as of publication)? According to Sports Illustrated’s Chris Mannix: “There have been steady rumblings for weeks in NBA circles that several Bucks veterans, including Giannis, had lost faith in Griffin.” The team’s defense also took a significant step back. They were fourth in defensive rating last season (111.9) and 21st this season (117.4). Not to mention, the fact that Terry Stotts, a former NBA head coach for two franchises including the Bucks, resigned before the regular season even began because he and Griffin reportedly got into a heated argument during a team shootaround was a big ole red flag in my eyes.
It is a bit ironic that Giannis had lost faith in Griffin after the Greek Freak was the one who reportedly pushed the organization to hire Griffin instead of Nick Nurse, who is now the head coach in Philadelphia and had won a championship with the Toronto Raptors. That is why players should not have the power to hand-pick coaches.
Sure, they can be involved in the process to an extent, but by no means should they have the final stamp of approval. Let the players play, and let the front office do front office things, including but not limited to hiring coaches.
This season is championship-or-bust for Milwaukee, so who do you think should be the next head coach? Doc Rivers is reportedly the leader in the clubhouse.
I would rather watch First Take and Days of Our Lives back-to-back for a full week, while contemplating in real time whether tying cinderblocks around my ankles and going for a swim is a better alternative (it is not), than see Rivers as the next head coach of the Bucks, a man that has repeatedly failed to deliver when there are lofty expectations at play.
Alas, just because the Bucks fired their head coach in a season of this magnitude does not mean the season is completely lost. The Cleveland Cavaliers fired David Blatt halfway through the 2016 season, his second at the helm, but the LeBron James-led franchise still went on to win the NBA Championship that season.
The Bucks don’t have the 2016 versions of LeBron or Kyrie, but they do have Giannis and Dame! And Bobby Portis!
DIAMOND SPORTS IS RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD
Diamond Sports, “the nation’s largest regional sports network (RSN) with broadcast rights to 11 MLB teams, half the NBA teams and a third of the NHL teams,” filed for bankruptcy last March but will rise from the ashes as Amazon will pay them roughly $100 million for the rights to stream every single game for five MLB teams in 2024, according to the NY Post.
One of those MLB teams? The Milwaukee Brewers.
Fans of the five baseball teams would have to get an Amazon Prime membership … to stream their games. It is not clear if fans in those markets would need to pay more than the Prime membership to get access to those games.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
Identifying Unhealthy Habits That Intensify Anxiety
Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have anxiety. Some have it more than others undoubtedly, but either way, it is important to change our relationship with anxiety and identify triggers. This article is a good starting point.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Great article.....and always funny!!