⚖️ Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 121
SBF Behind Bars; March Madness Recap; The Future of AI in the Workplace
Happy Tuesday, y’all!
I’m officially old. Not because I practically have no hair or go to bed before 10:00 p.m. most nights. Nope. I’m officially old because I was locked in watching 60 Minutes on Sunday. Only thing missing to complete the old man aesthetic was tea in a cup.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
SBF HEADED TO THE SLAMMER
Sam Bankman-Fried, the crypto whiz kid turned jumpsuit-wearin’ dumbo, was sentenced to 25 years in federal prison for defrauding customers and conspiracy to commit money laundering, among other transgressions. His lawyers argued for a sentence lasting between five and seven years.
He will appeal, so there is a chance that the number will be reduced. How likely that is, who the hell knows? If it is not lowered, below are what experts believe that length of the sentence will be.
"Federal inmates generally have to serve 85% of their sentences by statute. There are a few programs that can reduce their sentence further, but I expect Bankman-Fried to spend approximately 20 years in federal prison," Neama Rahmani, president of West Coast Trial Lawyers, told Axios, via a spokesperson.
Christopher Zoukis, a federal prison consultant based out of Charleston, South Carolina, estimates SBF will likely serve about three-quarters of the sentence.
Hot damn, I would hate to spend the next 20-ish years of my life in prison.
What’s on the agenda for today? Oh, yeah, same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before that, etc.: a mix of shitty food, lifting weights, reading books, conversing with others, and praying not to drop the soap.
On the bright side: At least the environment is conducive to forming good habits!
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
MEN’S FINAL FOUR IS SET
And then there were four. The UConn Huskies, the tournament’s No. 1 overall seed, are eviscerating the tournament field thus far as they went on a 30-0 (!!) run against Illinois to break the Elite 8 contest wide open en route to a second-straight Final Four appearance. The Huskies are clowning their opponents, there’s no other way to put it. They have led by at least 30 points in each of their first four 2024 tournament games and have now won 10 consecutive NCAA Tournament games, all by double digits. Big giant-ass dude Donovan Clingan proved to be the difference maker for UConn against the Illini, finishing with 22 points, 10 rebounds, 5 blocks, and three steals. HC Brad Underwood said during an in-game interview in the first half that he was going to continue to go at Clingan.
That strategy did not pay off for ‘em! Illinois scored 14 TOTAL points when Clingan was on the court and was 0-for-19 on FG attempts contested by Clingan.
Who is the lucky team to face the Huskies in Phoenix? The Alabama Crimson Tide, a squad coached by Wisconsin native and a former high school coach, Nate Oats. The Tide are making their first-ever Final Four appearance and are led by point guard Mark Sears, who was wetter than the Nile from deep in the second half (seven 3PM) against Clemson in the Elite 8. Alabama hit 16 total threes in the game. Alabama’s Nick Pringle played like a grown-ass man against little kids at a birthday party, finishing with 16 points and 11 rebounds. As for Clemson, a team seeking its first Final Four trip in school history, you hate to wonder “what if?” But I’m going to do it anyway. What if the Tigers made their damn free throws? They were 3-of-11 from the charity stripe in the second half and 8-of-16 for the game. The final score: 89-82.
Party like it’s 1983, Wolfpack faithful! NC State is headed back to the Final Four for the first time since that 1982-83 season when head coach Jim Valvano & Co. won it all. The Wolfpack outscored Duke by 18 in the second half, and Zach Randolph’s brother from another mother, DJ Burns, punked the Blue Devils all game long to the tune of 29 points, 4 rebounds, and 3 assists. He is, without a doubt, fat (respectfully), but he has quick-ass feet and has outstanding vision for a big man. Fun to watch! Let’s play another game of “what if” — what if Virginia guard Isaac McKneely, with his team holding onto a 58-55 lead against NC State in the semifinals of the ACC Tournament, makes the front end of a one-and-one with under five seconds left in regulation? NC State does not make the tournament in that scenario. Mind you, McKneely shot better than 80% from the line for the season. Instead, the missed free throw led to a three on the other end by Michael O’Connell to tie the game, which the Wolfpack ended up winning in overtime. NC State won the next game and is now headed to Phoenix, winners of nine consecutive ball games. Straight out of a gotdamn movie script.
NC State’s storybook season continues against the Boilermakers of Purdue, who squeaked past Tennessee in the Elite 8, 72-66, and finally got the Final Four monkey off their backs. We need to give Zach Edey his flowers. He is definitely a weird lookin’ dude, but he was unstoppable against the Volunteers. He finished with 40 points and 16 rebounds and blocked a Dalton Knecht layup late to seal the deal. A National Championship appearance for Purdue would be its first since 1969.
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The transfer portal has played an undeniable role in how rosters are constructed. Some coaches utilize the transfer portal more than others — after all, there are multiple ways to skin a cat (just ask Steven Avery), but every single Final Four roster features transfer players. The biggest “no duh” statement in the history of Tubz Unfiltered.
Let’s break it down further, featuring the top-8 players on each team based on average minutes played per game (according to the ESPN team pages), because I felt like going down a rabbit hole and couldn’t stop, so you’re getting my late-night work.
Inspired by NCAA Buzzer Beaters & Game Winners.
UCONN
Five Huskies, which includes two freshmen, have been at UConn for their entire career.
Two players, Hassan Diarra and Tristen Newton, started at Texas A&M and ECU, respectively, and have been on the squad for the last two seasons.
One player, Cam Spencer, has played at three different schools — Loyola Maryland, Rutgers, and UConn (first season in Storrs).
Among the starting-five lineup, two starters began their career at UConn while the other three started their career elsewhere.
ALABAMA
Three players, which includes two freshmen, have been at Alabama for their entire career.
Three players started their careers elsewhere and played at least two seasons there (Sears: first two seasons at Ohio, last two seasons at Alabama; Grant Nelson: first three seasons at North Dakota State, first year in Tuscaloosa; and Latrell Wrightsell Jr.: first three years at Cal-State Fullerton, first season at Alabama).
Two players played for at least two different programs before joining Oats’ program, Aaron Estrada (Saint Peter’s for one season, Oregon for one season, Hofstra for two seasons) and Pringle (Wofford for one season and Dodge City Community College for one season).
Among the starting-five lineup, one starter began at Alabama while the other four started their career elsewhere.
NC STATE
This roster, again in terms of the average minutes played per game, is by far the most transfer-heavy roster.
Only one player, Dennis Parker Jr., has been at NC State for his entire career, and he’s a freshman so he really doesn’t count. He’s eighth on the team in minutes played and hasn’t appeared in a single NCAA tournament game.
That means seven players started their playing careers at a different program, and one of those players, DJ Horne, is playing at his third stop (first two seasons at Illinois State, next two seasons at Arizona State, first season at NC State). Six of those seven players played at least two seasons elsewhere before NC State, and one player (Mohamed Diarra) only played one season at a different program (Mizzou) before transferring
Among the starting-five lineup, zero (!!) starters began their playing days at NC State.
PURDUE
The Boilermakers’ roster is the polar opposite of NC State’s roster. Holy hell in a handbasket.
There is only one player in the top 8 who has played for a program other than Purdue — Lance Jones, who played the first four years of his career at Southern Illinois.
Back-of-the-napkin math tells me that seven players, including one freshman, have played their entire careers for the Boilermakers.
Among the starting-five lineup, four starters began their playing days in West Lafayette.
NCAA WOMEN’S FINAL FOUR IS SET
It’s not all about the men! The Women’s Final Four, which will be played in Cleveland, Ohio, will feature undefeated South Carolina versus the pesky underdog NC State (6 p.m. CST on Friday), and Caitlin Clark and Iowa versus Paige Bueckers and UConn (8 p.m. CST on Friday).
The Gamecocks are seeking to become the 10th women’s college basketball team in the history of the sport to finish the season undefeated, a feat that was last achieved by the 2015-16 UConn Huskies.
While that is certainly a big headline, we all know who the real headline is: Clark and her ungodly shooting ability. She played all 40 minutes against LSU in the Elite 8 and dropped 41 points, 12 assists, and seven rebounds. She has endless range; it is utterly ridiculous. LSU guard Hailey Van Lith, who primarily guarded Clark, looked completely hopeless in her quest to slow Clark down. Van Lith should have pulled a page out of Draymond Green’s playbook and started assaulting her. (I would not condone that.) Van Lith’s head coach, Kim Mulkey, didn’t do Van Lith any favors, either, and failed to make any adjustments until it was too late.
Bueckers, who was in Clark’s recruiting class, deserves some praise, too. She is averaging 28 points, 9.0 rebounds, 5.0 assists, and 3.3 steals in 38.8 minutes per game this NCAA Tournament. The Huskies are making their 23rd Final Four appearance and seeking to win the title for the first time since 2016.
The Hawkeyes, meanwhile, aim to get back to the title game for the second-straight season and are hoping it will end differently this time around. The program has never won a national title.
RASHEE RICE MIGHT BE IN SOME TROUBLE
Kansas City Chiefs WR Rashee Rice appears to have had the need for speed. Not sure whether he was auditioning for a cameo in The Fast and the Furious or trying to imitate Henry Ruggs, but either way, he has found himself in a less than ideal situation.
Let me very clear at the outset: it has not been 100% determined that Rice was driving the Lamborghini involved in a six-car pileup in Dallas that left four people injured (minor injuries reportedly, thankfully), but we do know that the Lamborghini was leased to the former SMU star. Police suspect that Rice’s Lamborghini and a Corvette were involved in a street race competition, according to Pro Football Talk (PFT). There was not a winner, clearly, so all of the individuals in the Lambo and Corvette fled the scene. As an attorney who is not giving legal advice in this instance, I would not advise fleeing the scene!
Local media reported that “a police call sheet lists Rice as the suspected driver of the car.” And PFT, while looking at dashcam footage, wrote: “it’s looking more likely that Rice was driving. Which introduces far different penalties for leaving the scene of an accident involving injuries.”
Dallas police reportedly have yet to speak to Rice in connection with the incident.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
WSJ: Want to Know if AI Will Take Your Job? I Tried Using It to Replace Myself
Welcome to the Cognitive Revolution. I wish AI could recap the above article for me and provide witty commentary, but technology is not that sophisticated just yet. Ahem. “These AI tools aren’t great at producing finished creative products.”
Today’s AI almost always automates individual tasks, not whole jobs. Some jobs consist mostly of tasks that can be automated, like customer service, content marketing and writing product listings for e-commerce services. There still has to be a person using and coordinating all those AIs, however, along with doing the abstract thinking that, for now, remains the sole domain of humans. This means that while AI isn’t going to eliminate jobs, people using AI will—which has been the pattern in automation since its earliest days.
…
If it turns out the demand for AI-generated content isn’t so bottomless, things might be different. Daron Acemoglu, an economist at MIT, warns that the result could be a significant replacement of workers with automation. The problem is that AI and other forms of automation are often used by companies primarily to reduce their head counts, rather than to make existing employees more productive, in part because machines are easier to manage than people. … For those in fields threatened by automation, the solution is developing technology that makes us better at what we do, so we can stay ahead of the machines that would otherwise replace us, he adds.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz