🌐 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 128
Amazon tribes gets addicted to the internet; Lotza Sportz; Juul
Happy Tuesday, y’all!
I’ve been visiting Connecticut over the last several months and am now spending the week here. Some observations:
1) CT pizza is 🤤🔥.
2) NY drivers are psychopaths.
3) LaGuardia is a top-notch airport.
4) Leaf peeping is a thing?? Sounds like a felony waiting to happen.
5) Bring back the Hartford Whalers.
6) New England during the summer is the best spot in America.
7) My toxic trait is visiting a city/state and convincing myself I could live there. Well,,,
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Remote Amazon tribe finally connects to internet — only to wind up hooked on porn, social media
Elon Musk, through Starlink, hooked up a Brazilian tribe with the internet. Much has transpired.
“When it arrived, everyone was happy,” he said. No sh*t, Sherlock. The internet is a magical place. “But now, things have gotten worse. Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet, they’re learning the ways of the white people.”
First of all, buddy boy, the white people — actually, a white person — invented electricity, so be careful biting the hand that feeds you.
In all seriousness, the arrival of Starlink has been a godsend as it helped members “quickly contact authorities for help with emergencies, including potentially deadly snake bites. Members are also able to share educational resources with other Amazonian tribes and connect with friends and family who now live elsewhere.”
On the flip side, it does sound like the internet has rotted the brains of the youth and exposed them and other members to internet scams. No sense in the tribe visiting America because they already have a sense of what it’s like.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
NBA FINALS
The Boston Celtics went on a 23-5 run in the first half of Game 1 and eventually built up a nearly 30-point lead, thanks to red-hot shooting from Porzingis and a slew of others. And the made shots weren’t necessarily tightly contested. There were a lot of drives, dishes, and swishes from deep.1 Boston, on an elementary level, has a roster full of guys who can shoot and play defense. Moreover, on any given night one of their starters can catch lightning in a bottle on the offensive end. Good recipe for success.
A fair share of media pundits believed the final result for the Dallas Mavericks, a 107-89 loss, was the nail in the coffin for the Mavs’ title aspirations, but what those mouth breathers failed to realize is that Dallas lost by 12 to the Clippers in Game 1 of the first round and lost by 22 to the Thunder in Game 1 of the second round. They won both series.
Well, the mouth breathers may have been onto something because the Mavericks are now done 0-2 in the series, with players not named Luka playing like they’re trying out for a role in the Semi Pro sequel. While Doncic is averaging 31 points, 10.5 rebounds, and six assists per game thus far, including a 32-point triple-double in Game 2, Kyrie Irving, for example, is averaging 14 points and four assists per game on 35% shooting from the field. He is 0/8 from deep. His moccasin-style sneakers look hip and cool when he’s ballin’, but they look like [I would make a joke here but I won’t because I don’t want to accidentally come off as a racist] when he’s struggling like Lindsay Lohan after a night out.
Mavs not named Luka Doncic have shot 3/31 (9.7%) from three not including garbage time
At the end of the day, while I could be up and arms about the very questionable no-call on PJ Washington as he drove to the basket down five with under a minute remaining and appeared to get pushed from behind, I have to give credit to the Celtics. They shot 26% from deep but made 19-of-20 free throws in Game 2, and they have put the clamps on defensively through the first two games. Put bluntly, Boston has been too good.
There have only been five teams in the history of the NBA Finals that have come back and won the series after trailing 0-2.2 If the Mavericks want to become the sixth, Kyrie and every other player on the roster, besides Luka, better put on their big boy pants and get their asses into gear.
One final note: Porzingis “suffered a torn medial retinaculum allowing dislocation of the posterior tibialis tendon.” Absolutely no clue what that means, I feel like those words were in the Harry Potter script. The big man’s availability going forward will be determined on a day-to-day basis, according to the team. However, Sports Injury Central’s “panel of Pro Sports Docs expects him to miss the remainder of the NBA Finals. Based on their experience, this type of injury typically requires surgery and cannot be played through effectively.”
STANLEY CUP FINALS
I haven’t watched a lick of it (yet), but the Florida Panthers are up 2-0 in the series after winning Game 1, 3-0, and winning Game 2, 4-1. Are the Oilers, who have been touted as an offensive juggernaut, trying not to score? Are they not dumping and chasing? Hockey 101, especially in Canada.
CAITLIN CLARK LEFT OFF THE OLYMPIC TEAM
The standout player continues to be send shockwaves throughout the sport. Even though Clark ranks 15th in the WNBA in scoring (16.3 points per game) and fourth in assists (6.0), while also becoming the youngest player in the history of the league to have 30+ points, 5+ rebounds, 5+ assists, and 5+ three-pointers made in a single game (among other accolades),3 the NCAA Division-1 all-time points leader will not travel to Paris as a member of the U.S. Olympic women’s basketball team.
Politics may have been involved in the decision. No, Clark was not left off the team because she was spotted wearing a MAGA hat in public or spotted wearing a shirt that read, “Lock Him Up!”
Instead, she was reportedly forced to stay home in Indiana due to “the concern about how Clark’s millions of fans would react to what would likely be limited playing time on a stacked roster,” according to USA Today.
Moreover, it appears the head coach of the Olympic team, Cheryl Reeve, is sick of Clark’s sh*t, to put it bluntly.
There is more to the story, though. All of the players selected to represent their country had senior national team experience, as pointed out by ESPN, so the selection committee clearly identified players that have been around the block, so to speak, in terms of international experience. Clark did not have any senior national team experience.
The selection committee has a set of criteria to pick the team that includes playing ability, position played and adaptability to the international game. Marketing and popularity aren't on that list.
Diana Taurasi, Sylvia Fowles, Candace Parker and Breanna Stewart made the Olympic team the year they finished college. All spent time in a National Team camp prior to being named to the Olympic team. USAB has been consistent in this regard.
So did Clark get the snub because the committee was scared of the potential outrage caused by a lack of playing time for Clark, or did Clark simply not have the requisite international experience? The answer, as usual, is likely a mix of both.
Clark should go on Instagram Live during the Games, perhaps taking a page out of Kevin Garnett’s trash-talking playbook (without saying that word, of course). More people would probably watch that than the actual women’s basketball games — a point that was glossed over by the committee.
DAN HURLEY SPURNS LA LAKERS, WILL RETURN TO UCONN
I’m getting a bit long winded here, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. This all seemed like a leverage play by Hurley to get a more lucrative contract from UConn, to reignite donor interest for NIL purposes, and to have the ability to look recruits in the eyes and say, “I turned down a job from the Los Angeles Lakers. That’s how special UConn basketball is.”
Plus, Hurley has multiple screws loose — in the best possible way. After all, he has won two straight national titles. That type of attitude and fierceness flies in college, not so much in the pros when you’re dealing with grown-ass men.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
FDA reverses order taking Juul vaping products off the market in US, opens door to possible authorization
Krack for Kidz might be here for good! Here’s the lowdown, courtesy of the above article and this handy dandy piece.
The FDA banned Juul from selling its products in June 2022 because, well, it was essentially crack. They did so through a marketing denial order (MDO).
However, the FDA paused that in July 2022, and Juul sued the agency in Sept. 2022 “for failing to produce documents the agency used to issue the MDO.” The Juul products have remained on the shelves since the Summer of 2022.
Last week, the FDA rescinded the original MDO based on “‘review of information provided by the applicant’ as well as new case law stemming from court decisions involving marketing denial orders, or MDOs, for e-cigarette products.” In other words, Juul hired people away from the FDA and/or did some hardcore lobbying. That’s just one man’s opinion.
FDA will now review Juul’s application and decide whether Krack for Kidz will continue to stay on the shelves or be shifted to the black market.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
No need to call me Dr. Seuss, but I’ll take the compliment.
Source; 2021 Milwaukee Bucks, 2016 Cleveland Cavaliers, 2006 Miami Heat, 1977 Portland Trail Blazers, and 1969 Celtics.
I do have to include two facts: she can’t play a lick of defense (126th out of 140 players) and is dead last in turnovers per game (5.4). As to the latter, not her fault her teammates suck.