Happy Tuesday Wednesday, y’all!
I learned the hard way I’m allergic to pomegranate and/or kiwi over the weekend. I got an Epi pen stabbed into my ass cheek (read: shoulder, but ass cheek sounds cooler) due to the anaphylactic reaction. I could have died, but I lived to see another day.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
DRONES HYSTERIA
The drones flying around the East Coast skies are all the rage right now, and no one knows anything, or so it appears.
Below are the federal government’s responses to the drones:
White House national security spokesman John Kirby on Monday said the federal government has yet to identify any public safety or national security risks from reported drone sightings in the northeast, saying officials believe they were lawfully flown drones, planes or even stars.
Kirby: There are more than 1 million drones that are lawfully registered with the Federal Aviation Administration here in the United States. And there are thousands of commercial, hobbyist and law enforcement drones that are lawfully in the sky on any given day. That is the ecosystem that we are dealing with.
At a media briefing on Monday, the Pentagon’s press secretary, Air Force Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder, said defense officials have seen no indication that the drones flying over multiple locations in the U.S. are being controlled by a foreign country.
The FBI and Department of Homeland Security (DHS) said in a joint statement on Thursday that there was "no evidence at this time that the reported drone sightings pose a national security or public safety threat or have a foreign nexus."
Comparatively, below are the public’s (and others’) responses to the drones:
Representative Chris Smith, a New Jersey Republican, warned on Saturday that the recent drone sightings over the Garden State are "a very considerable danger."
[Bethenny Frankel] alleged that she has been in recent contact with a man whose father 'worked with The Pentagon and NASA,' as well as secret projects. Frankel: “He has been messaging me that he will never forgive himself if he doesn't tell the people that he knows that for a month, he's been watching this situation, and now, several days ago, before it became a discussion in the mainstream media, that these drones are ours and that they could very possibly be sniffing out something very dangerous. Some missing, dangerous ‘W’ from the war, and that areas that coincide with where the drones have been seen have spiked in radiation, so he said it's time to think about where I am and that I might want to go somewhere with my daughter.”
John Ferguson, CEO of Saxon Aerospace: “I don’t believe [the drones] have nefarious intent. … I spoke to a gentleman a few months ago who was trying to raise an alarm to the highest levels of government, which they had their ears closed, about this one particular nuclear warhead that he physically put his hands on … that was left over from Ukraine, and he knew that thing was headed towards the United States. That is a very serious deal. Everyone knows that … this Administration is pushing to get into a war with Russia.” Ferguson recalldd there were drones a few years back that were spotted flying across the I-70 Corridor — from Colorado to Nebraska, Kansas, and Missouri. “It was believed those drones were looking for radioactive material because there had been some material that came up missing here in the United States, and they felt like it was high probability that the nuclear or radioactive material would be taken along the I-70 Corridor heading east or west or south. So, from what we understand, they were out there trying to find this radioactive material.”
“There’s no reason for a drone to be flying at night, really, because they don’t see shit. Unless you have thermal optics, drones really don’t see stuff. You need to do mapping during the day. The only reason why you would ever fly an unmanned aircraft at night is if you’re looking for something, rather it be a person or trying to smell gas. … With this gentleman that I had spoken with who was trying to raise the alarm to try to get somebody in the government to say, ‘Hey, we need to work together to go try to find this nuclear warhead,’ none of that ever happened. They knew that warhead was on its way to the United States. That’s all that ever came of it. … This government did not do anything at all to help this gentleman raise the alarm that there is a very deadly weapon on its way to the United States. … It left Europe, now it’s gone. My guess — my own guess — is that these drones are not nefarious in intent … but if they are drones, the only reason why they would be flying and flying that low is because they’re trying to smell something on the ground … gas leaks, radioactive material, whatever.”
In sum, as is usually the case, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Is this the beginning of World War III? Unlikely. Are the drone sightings —and their frequency — sketchy and at least something? Likely. Will we find out the actual truth from the government in the not-too-distant future? Probably not.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
BILL BELICHICK HEADS TO COLLEGE
When former New England Patriots (my AFC team now) head coach Bill Belichick’s relationship with a female in her 20s became public, we should have seen this coming.
The six-time Super Bowl-winning head coach, age 72, was recently introduced as the new head coach of the University of North Carolina Tar Heels, replacing Mack Brown, age 73. The irony of that is not lost on me. Belichick signed a five-year, $50-million deal, and as part of the deal, UNC “will increase NIL package for football from $4 million to $20 million,” according to Matt Hayes. However, whether that $20 million includes the revenue-sharing payments from the House settlement is unclear. If it does, I’m not blown away.
Regardless, the hire is a helluva coup for Carolina. Many in the industry view the program as a sleeping giant of sorts, and there is no one with a better football pedigree than Belichick to wake the giant up.
But why does Belichick, who is 15 wins away from breaking Don Shula’s record for the most wins by a head coach in NFL history, want to go to the college game and deal with NIL, the transfer portal, boosters, and sit in recruits’ living rooms, among other headaches?
It was because, in the words of a confidant, Belichick is "disgusted" in what he believes the NFL had become.
"This is a big f--- you to the NFL," another Belichick confidant says.
Belichick heading to Chapel Hill is a bit reminiscent of Bill Walsh returning to coach at Stanford after his dynastic run with the San Francisco 49ers, where he won three Super Bowl titles. (Walsh served as the Stanford HC from 1977 through 1978 before taking the 49ers job.)
While Walsh went 10-3 in his first year back in 1992, he produced a 7-14 record over the final two seasons. 1994 was the last season he coached football.
Belichick could hit the ground running and get those frat boys rowdy, but how long will “We’re on to NC State” stick around for? His contract calls for him to pay a mere $1 million buyout to the university if he leaves for another job after June 1, 2025.
NFL WEEK 15 RECAP
BILLS 48 Lions 42: 1,080 total yards. 90 total points. 58 first downs. Defense optional. 100% pure electricity. Buffalo led 35-14 with 3:30 left in the third quarter after scoring a touchdown on the heels of a fumble by Detroit WR Amon-Ra St. Brown (14 catches, 193 yards, 1 TD) on a pass across the middle. Detroit came storming back and trailed 38-28 after a Jahmyr Gibbs touchdown reception with 12 minutes left. However, head coach Dan Campbell’s meat-head aggressiveness screwed them royally. He called for an onside kick with ~12 minutes left down, an idiotic move that is difficult to comprehend and explain. Buffalo scored a touchdown one play later, all but ending the game. I suppose you have to take the good with the bad in terms of Campbell’s plums-on-the-table moves, but I would advise he find a happy medium (as I eat Doritos on the couch).
Jared Goff is the 4th QB since 2000 to have:
- 500+ Total Yards
- 5 TDs
- 0 INTs
- And lose the game
Looking ahead, Buffalo is one of the best offenses, if not the best, in the league — running back James Cook (14 carries for 105 yards and two touchdowns versus DET) is the X-Factor in my opinion — and Josh Allen is undoubtedly a top-2 MVP candidate, but is the Bills’ defense good enough to get them to the Super Bowl?
As for the Lions, they have been decimated by injury. They entered Sunday’s contest with 13 defenders, including star DE Aidan Hutchinson, on injured reserve and, in Sunday’s game alone, they lost RB David Montgomery, starting DT Alim McNeill, and cornerback Khalil Dorsey to season-ending injuries. Starting cornerback Carlton Davis III also suffered a fractured jaw and is out indefinitely. I may be foolish to doubt this team, but these injuries will be too much to overcome deep in the playoffs.
PACKERS 30 Seahawks 13: Green Bay hit a lull in the second half, marked by a Josh Jacobs fumble, but they still put up at least 30 points for the 7th time this season. That’s how good this offense can be. Jacobs set the tone in the first half, especially on the opening possession. He touched the ball on nine of the 10 plays, capped off by a 1-yard rushing touchdown. He is the engine of the offense. Argue with a wall.
QB Jordan Love has returned to the form he exhibited in the second half of the 2023 season, and do you know why? One word: Toyotathon. (He’s also fully healthy.) He finished 20/27 for 229 yards and two touchdowns (123.8 passer rating). It was his fourth consecutive game without an interception. The former first round pick has now thrown 56 touchdown passes in his first 30 NFL starts, tied with Aaron Rodgers for the most touchdown passes in team history. I almost died Saturday, meaning I am still a bit shaken up, so does that stat put Love in good company?
Oh, and in the last five games (Toyotathon started Nov. 15), he has completed 68.7% of his passes for 1,133 yards, 8 touchdowns, and only one interception, with a 119.95 passer rating.
I knew Seattle’s offensive line was shaky, but I didn’t realize they were THAT bad. Yes, they lost its starting center in the first quarter, but you have to give credit where credit is due; DC Jeff Hafley dialed up the pressure, and the result was luscious — seven total sacks. (I won’t apologize for backup QB Sam Howell sucking donkey bleep.)
S/O rookie LB Edgerrin Cooper. That dude is an animal and makes my pants fit tight. He finished with seven total tackles, two tackles for loss, two pass deflections, two QB hurries, and one interception in less than 40 (!!) snaps.
🤓 BATH TIME PONDERING 🤓
Christmas, and Christmas dinner, are right around the corner. Ham is usually a staple.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz