🧒 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 170
Jello-O Shots to Kindergarten; Sportz; New acquisition for OpenAI; Tubz Announcement
Happy Tuesday Wednesday, y’all!
Make sure to read all the way through for an exciting Tubz announcement. Before that, I’m going to start this week’s Volume on a somber note.
My Grandpa’s Celebration of Life took place over the weekend. Obviously a heartbreaking time for my family and me, but it was uplifting in the sense that I witnessed how many people my Grandpa impacted. 250 people — the maximum capacity for the funeral home — paid their respects on Saturday, several of whom spoke glowingly of their time with my Grandpa at various church work camps, all of which took place several decades ago. I was not surprised by that because my Grandpa is the most generous person I have ever met. He always put others before himself, no matter the environment.
Beyond that, he lived life to the fullest every single day, highlighted by his contagious energy and positive attitude, among other glowing attributes. I got an up close and personal look at how he carried himself daily when I lived with him and my Grandma during the Summer of 2017, a time I will cherish for eternity. During that time, I also witnessed how well he cared for and loved my Grandma, who he was married to for 66 years; I will make sure to honor his memory by doing the same for my future wife.
They say to never meet your heroes, but I’m calling the Fake News Brigade to address that notion because my Grandpa was my hero, not to mention the bedrock of our family. As such, I am abundantly blessed to have had him in my life and share so many wonderful memories with him. I will miss him dearly.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Pennsylvania kindergarten student handed out jello shots to classmates, district says
Child Protective Services on Line 1? They might just be as a Pennsylvania kindergarten student brought alcoholic Jello-O shots to school and gave them to three other kiddos.
First order of business to address: Are we sure that there weren’t more Jello-O shots? I highly doubt a kindergarten teacher isn’t sneaking in a Jello-O shot (or two) to calm his or her nerves while the tykes are bouncing off the walls. A classic veteran move would have been, “Let me have one of those to make sure they’re not poisonous.” Actually, the teacher should have done exactly that in this scenario!
The school acted swiftly, which is all fine and dandy (and appropriate), but nap time must/could have been as peaceful as listening to birds chirp from a porch on a nice summer morning.
This isn’t the first time an elementary room was the scene of a darty, as the kids say. “Last month, a Texas mom was arrested for sending spiked Jell-O shots to her fifth grade daughter’s class Christmas party in December,” according to the New York Post. That madre “claimed she bought the shots from someone on Facebook and didn’t know they contained alcohol.”
I would arrest her, too, and charge her with at least one (1) count of stupidity and laziness for buying Jello-O shots from someone on Facebook.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
NBA PLAYOFFS
After getting their doors blown by the Minnesota SWAT Team in Game 3 by 40 points, the Oklahoma City Thunder took a commanding 3-1 lead against the Minnesota Timberwolves, thanks to a 40-point performance by Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and clutch three-pointers down the stretch from Jalen Williams (34 PTS) in the 128-126 victory. The first back-breaking three came with roughly 3:30 left, as Gilgeous-Alexander slipped (looked like he traveled) and passed it back between the defender’s legs to Williams who connected with the shot clock expiring to put the Thunder up seven. He went on to nail another triple with 1:20 left to increase OKC’s lead to seven again. From that point forward, Thunder head coach Mark Daigneault followed the “always foul down three” rule to a tee. Quite annoying to watch unfold.
Altogether, the Timberwolves bested OKC in practically every category, but the 23 total turnovers loomed large. Not to mention, the Thunder seemingly couldn’t miss in crunch time. And finally, Anthony Edwards (5/13 FG, 16 PTS) and Julius Randle (1/7 FG, 5 PTS) each turned in piss-poor performances. You gotta have your stars show up when the lights are the brighest. Simple as that.
Game 5 is tonight (Wednesday) in Oklahoma City.
— — —
When the Indiana Pacers went on a 13-0 run late in the second quarter to take a 20-point lead in Game 3, I was convinced the New York Knicks were toast, tucked into bed after a glass of warm milk.
Karl-Anthony Towns & Co.:
The Kentucky product finished with 20 points in the fourth quarter (largely with Jalen Brunson on the bench due to foul trouble), Brunson hit a tough runner to give the Knicks a two-point lead late in the fourth, and Pacers big man Myles Turner attempted a questionable three-pointer with 22 seconds remaining as New York stayed alive in the series with a 106-100 victory.
In Game 4, Pacers star guard Tyrese Haliburton, with his father back in attendance, put on a show. The Wisconsin native finished with 32 points, 15 assists (zero turnovers), 12 rebounds, and four steals in a commanding 130-121 victory to take a 3-1 series lead. Pascal Siakam added 30 points of his own on 11/21 shooting. Every time the Knicks got within striking distance, Indiana would seemingly score on the other end. Like clockwork.
And as much as I want to despise the Pacers for a handful of reasons, the fact of the matter is that they are a really good basketball team. Quite frankly, they are an offensive juggernaut. They move the ball with precision, get out in transition, and have the depth that many NBA teams dream of. Case in point, 10 players played at least 10 minutes in the Game 4 victory.
From a ratings perspective, the league office is likely clamoring for the Knicks to make a comeback and be the Eastern Conference representative in the NBA Finals. But from a purely basketball perspective, Indiana is a much more deserving candidate.
STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS
I’m sorry, folks, but I have not been as locked in as I should be for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. No excuses; I’ll be better going forward.
Nevertheless, the Edmonton Oilers and Florida Panthers are on a collision course for a Stanley Cup Finals rematch as both squads are up 3-1. Goals have been scored, goals have been given up.
Before the Game 4 victory against the Oilers, the Carolina Hurricanes had dropped 15 consecutive contests in the Conference Finals over the last four Conference Finals series. That is only fair after the franchise moved from Hartford, CT.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
OpenAI’s hiring of legendary former Apple design boss Jony Ive is a $6.5 billion move to dominate the AI age by creating the next iPhone
Archived here
The creator of the iPhone, Jony Ive, founded io, an AI startup, did some sick computer stuff, and has now been acquired by OpenAI for $6.5 billion. “Ive and his team will … join OpenAI and lead creative and design work including on AI-powered computers.” It is the biggest acquisition to date for OpenAI.
We have no idea what the device is that io built, but the article projected “[i]t could be some kind of wearable device.”
Sam Altman, OpenAI CEO: “Jony recently gave me one of the prototypes of the device for the first time to take home and I’ve been able to live with it, and I think it is the coolest piece that the world will have ever seen.”
Seems like a massive swing and miss by Apple. Right under their nose, and they metaphorically shooed it away.
I’m massively burying the lede, though.
With the help of ChatGPT (not afraid to admit it), the OpenAI chatbot, Tubz Unfiltered has a new look. My previous logo was hideous; it looked like it was created in Microsoft Paint.
🥁🥁🥁
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz