Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 21
WWE meets AAU basketball; Spiked Baja Blast; AFC + NFC Championship weekend
Happy Monday, y’all!
I am ~99% certain that I saw Jordan Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers’ brother, at Barry’s Bootcamp on Sunday. I initially thought to ask him whether he had any intel on where Rodgers will play next season. Imagine Tubz Unfiltered breaking some news. It would be great for business, to say the least. I then came to my senses and figured that it was a waste of time because we are both in the same boat — neither of us have any contact with Aaron.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
What in the world what prompted this?
Was it a questionable block/charge call that went against the coach’s team?
Did the ref miss a blatant carry?
Did the coach’s chicken biscuit from Chick-fil-a instantly fall apart once he bit into it on his way to the game and he was taking out that frustration on the ref?
Was the ref making bad calls all game and the coach finally had enough?
The ref must have called the coach a jive turkey, right?
Choking someone with one hand is bad enough, but choking someone with both hands is definitely a line too far. Even if jive turkey is dropped. Also, if the coach is going to get up in the ref’s grill like that, he should put on his mask. Omicron is no joke. Please show some respect for the virus, sir.
Anywho, here is a free tip for the coach the next time his blood starts to boil. Take a deep breath, check the pulse (the neck works best from personal experience), and take a lap. And make it a long lap, you scum bag. I mean that respectfully, as always.
Love to see the other ref having his partner’s back by swinging a mean right hook at the coach. Teamwork makes the dream work.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Exclusive: Taco Bell favorite Mountain Dew Baja Blast is going boozy
My pants fit a little funny, and my heart starts to pump a little faster, when it comes to Baja Blast. Some people get high off drugs. I get high off Baja Blast. (Baja Blast Zero Sugar, though. I am trying to avoid Type-II diabetes as insulin is very expensive.)
Now they are adding alcohol to Baja Blast?!? Can I get a hell yeah?!?
Without reading the article, I was hoping it was going to come close to being a second cousin of Four Loko. Nothing gave you liquid courage quite like Four Loko back in the day. It appears to only be 5% alcohol by volume, which is probably for the best.
I am in a bit of a predicament with this news. I would love to enjoy several of these drinks a day, but according to research, too much alcohol is bad for the body? Then again, John Daly drinks a lot of hooch and he seems to be doing just fine.
At the end of the day, though, I look forward to telling anyone in sight after slamming some of these bad boys on a non-work day, “I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew!”
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Bengals 27 Chiefs 24: WOW. I did not see this coming after the Chiefs took a 21-3 lead in the first half. That lead could have been greater if the Chiefs simply opted to kick a field goal with five seconds remaining in the first half, but instead, they acted like the Harlem Globetrotters and got cute with it. Massive props to Cincinnati’s defense in the second half and overtime. They stymied Patrick Mahomes and company, and then some, holding Tyreek Hill to zero (!!) catches. How did they do it? They dropped eight in coverage on 45% of snaps in the second half, and the Chiefs did not adapt. Pretty simple.
Joe Burrow, who will seek to become the first QB to win the Heisman, a national title, and a Super Bowl, showed his deceptive speed on two third-down conversions early on in the 4th quarter that proved to be monumental, as it led to a field goal by Evan “He Does Not Miss” McPherson to give the Bengals a 24-21 lead. On the next drive, it was hilarious when Tony Romo suggested that the Bengals should let the Chiefs score as the seconds kept on ticking away while Kansas City was in the red zone. Cincinnati then proceeded to sack Mahomes on second and third down. Real tough day for Romo in the booth.
To recap for the Chiefs: Not only did they blow a 21-3 lead, but they failed to score a touchdown from the 5-yard line with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line. Unbelievable.
First Super Bowl appearance for the Bengals since 1988. Also unbelievable.
I am preaching to the choir here, but the Bengals were very bad last year. 4-12 record. From that to a Super Bowl appearance is impressive. So impressive that since the 1999-2000 season, they are one of only seven teams to make the Super Bowl following a season in which they had a losing record.
Rams 20 49ers 17: Did I love to watch the 49ers choke this one away? You betcha, without question. I almost loved it too much. Up 17-7 late in the third quarter/early in the fourth quarter, you gotta bring it home if you are Kyle Shanahan. The guy loves to blow leads late in the game as much as Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio loves to troll Packer fans. As much as Michael Jackson loves to … nevermind.
San Francisco was up 10 in the fourth quarter against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl two years ago. He was the offensive coordinator for the Falcons when they pissed the bed against the Patriots in 2017, blowing a 28-3 lead. It is evident that his keister gets a bit tight in big games. Case in point: he had three fourth downs in plus territory and he punted every single time, including on 4th-and-2 (Rams’ 45 yard line) on the possession after the Rams scored to make it 17-14.
This is where the game fell apart for the 49ers. On the possession for the Rams after that third punt in plus territory, safety Jaquiski Tartt dropped a sure-fire interception. On the next play, Stafford connected with OBJ for a 29-yard completion. Add 15 yards to that because Jimmy Ward was dumber than a box of rocks by lunging at OBJ’s head. The Rams went on to make a field goal, the 49ers lost yards on their next possession en route to a three-and-out, and the Rams made another field goal with roughly a minute left to win it. Ballgame.
Congrats to Matt Stafford (31/45, 337 yards, 2 TDs). Not only did he live in or around Detroit for as long as he did, he also played for the Lions. Now, he lives in or around Los Angeles and is going to the Super Bowl.
Let’s. Go. Bengals.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Ha, haven’t heard jive turkey in a long time!