🐻 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 25 🐻
Shakespeare rolling over in his grave; Big Bear got big mad; Kansas-Baylor recap.
Happy Monday, y’all!
I will start out Volume 25 on a serious, somber note: Prayers up for the people of Ukraine. What they are going through is gut wrenching and so sad.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
What in the Shakespearean hell hole is this? Putin is a scumbag. Always has been, always will be. So why is AnnaLynne McCord (never heard of her, for the record) apologizing for not being Putin’s mommy? Massive swing and a miss. Bases loaded, 2 outs, down one run, bottom of ninth in the World Series, and she swung after the ball was already in the catcher’s mitt for strike three.
If McCord was actually sorry for not being Mr. Scumbag’s mom, she would have learned Russian for her poem to really get into character. She calls herself an actress, but she is doing a pretty bad job at it. Another swing and a miss.
And Twitter committed its own swing and a miss for not suspending her Twitter account for violation of Twitter’s rules.
You may not threaten or promote terrorism or violent extremism.
You may not use our service for any unlawful purpose or in furtherance of illegal activities.
For McCord to say that if she was Putin’s mother then Putin would have been so loved, seems to me like that she is promoting terrorism. A stretch? Possibly. However, for McCord to say that if she was Putin’s mother then Putin — a war criminal — would have been so loved, seems like an illegal activity. No doubt.
Closing thought: Imagine actually being Putin’s mother. If I were to hypothetically give her a letter grade, I would give her a big fat F.
Speaking of a big fat thing …
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Spare the bear: Hank the Tank avoids death, relocation thanks to DNA evidence
Thank the heavens above that Hank the Tank survived the electric chair. S/O science for that one.
TLDR (Too Long Didn’t Read, for you Boomers): Hank the Tank a/k/a Thiccc Boy Hank is a big fat bear that “burglarized” approximately 36 homes in the Tahoe Keys neighborhood (California). NSFW version: He f*cked up a lot of homes. The Karen’s of California were either going to have Hank the Tank be murdered in broad daylight or send him to an animal sanctuary (read: animal prison), all because he got a wee bit too reckless in his spare time. I imagine those people are the same people that called for Harambe to be shot and killed and then proceeded to chastise the Harambe grievers. Despicable.
Science luckily stepped in and determined that at least two other black bears were also burglarizing homes in the same area. I thought bears hibernate during the winter months? Another classic case of Californians making up their own set of rules.
Altogether, the Karen’s of California should subscribe to the concept of rehabilitation. Instead of wanting to kill the bears or put them in animal prison, why not give them a second chance and incentivize them to stay out of trouble? Maybe for good behavior, give them a lifetime supply of honey while supplies last (kind of an empty promise given our supply chain issues, but it is the thought that counts). Maybe for good behavior, use their name, image, and likeness in marketing materials to prevent wildfires (and/or obesity) and compensate them for it.
Alternatively, and feel free to call me Krazy Karen for this one, maybe — just maybe — the Karen’s of California should take it upon themselves and come up with a better infrastructure to combat the bears. Ask Gavin Newsom for help, he seems to be an expert at tackling infrastructure issues.
Speaking of bears …
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
Baylor 80 Kansas 70: Kansas came out of the gates like bats outta hell, racing out to a 12-2 lead early in the first half, and led 28-15 with under 5:50 left in the first half. Over the next 34:10, the Baylor BEARS outscored the Jayhawks by 23 points (#math), despite the Jayhawks dominating on the offensive glass throughout.
Kansas’ Ochai Agbaji has been a big-time player this year, and Saturday’s performance was no different as he put up 27 points, 6 rebounds, and 3 assists. However, what might hurt Kansas in March, at least based on what transpired in this one (huge sample size, I know), is that it does not have a bench at all. Only one reserve played more than 10 minutes.
Conversely, Baylor does not necessarily have a star, but they got significant contributions from just about every guy who played on Saturday, including their two big guys: Flo Thamba (18 points and 9 rebounds in 23 minutes) and Jeremy Sochan (17 points and 5 rebounds in 31 minutes).
Selection Sunday is quickly approaching … March 13.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz