🥜Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 30 🥜
Peanut butter recall; Final Four + National Championship Game Recap
Happy Monday Tuesday, y’all!
I have been back in Wisconsin for over a week now. It has been great to see family and friends. Let’s now address the elephant in the room: does this “spring” weather in Wisconsin suck more than living in North Korea? Probably not (OK, definitely not), but if ESPN got the band back together and had Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless debate this on First Take, I would watch.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Skippy is recalling 161,692 pounds of peanut butter
Skippy Foods found that a handful jars (give or take a few) of good ole peanut butter were thought to possibly be contaminated with fragments of stainless steel from a piece of manufacturing equipment, so they issued a recall. Cool. Good for them, but I am here to ask the important question: How in the actual f*ck does this happen? Did Billy Boy want to stand out on the manufacturing line and play the role of Salt Bae, but instead of salt, he used stainless steel? This is why I buy generic brands.
No way that those brands are employing dumb-dumbs like the ones at Skippy to fill the peanut butter jars or oversee the quality assurance process. And to add, those brands do not want to poison the every-day American that eats peanut butter on a daily basis and identifies peanut butter as the most versatile spread in the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
If you are actually concerned about the recall, the relevant information is below.
Products included in the recall are:
- SKIPPY Reduced Fat Creamy Peanut Butter, 40oz with “best if used by” dates of MAY0423 and MAY0523
- SKIPPY Reduced Fat Creamy Peanut Butter — Club, 2/40oz with “best if used by” date of MAY0523
- SKIPPY Reduced Fat Chunky Peanut Butter, 16.3oz with “best if used by” dates of MAY0623 and MAY0723
- SKIPPY Creamy Peanut Butter Blended With Plant Protein, 14oz with a “best if used by” date of MAY1023
From ABC News:
The products were sold in 18 states: California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Missouri, North Carolina, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma and Wisconsin.
🏀 SPORTZ: MARCH MADNESS 🏀
Final Four
Kansas 81 Villanova 65: A rematch of the 2018 Final Four, yet Saturday’s result was the exact opposite of the 2018 matchup. The reason why? Clearly because Jay Wright was dressed like a gym teacher on Saturday night, as opposed to being dressed like he was working on Wall Street, the latter look being donned by Wright prior to the pandemic.
In all seriousness, Kansas won and avenged that 2018 Final Four matchup because its offense was red hot, shooting 53.7% from the field and 54.2% from beyond the arc. Kansas forward Ochai Agbaji (21 points, 6/7 from 3) looked like me during sixth grade playing against a bunch of Christian white boys — wetter than the Nile. I am pretty certain his first five or six attempts did not touch the rim.
Villanova’s interior defense was never an asset throughout the season, and it reared its ugly head as the Wildcats had absolutely no answer for Kansas big man David McCormack (25 points, 9 rebounds).
North Carolina 81 Duke 77: Here are some fun facts for ya: Coach K’s first loss? Against UNC. Coach K’s last loss at Cameron Indoor? Against UNC. Coach K’s last loss of his career? Against UNC. To top it off, Coach K’s all-time record against UNC? 50-50. A .500 record against your arch nemesis + everything else I listed? Bummer.
Anyway, what an all-time game. One for the books, no doubt about it. After Paolo Banchero scored on an emphatic dunk with 18:54 remaining, UNC went on a 13-0 run over the next three minutes to take a 47-41 lead, the most that either team led for the remainder of the game.
Hang-on-to-your-butts type stuff for the entire second half, with Caleb Love (28 points, including 22 in the second half) putting the Tar Heels on his back like Greg Jennings, albeit without a broken leg.
Hey, Mark Williams, you will probably enjoy a nice long career in the NBA, but you really let Coach K and your teammates down by missing both of your free throws with 47 seconds left and allowing Love to knock down the clinching three pointer thereafter. Let’s break it down a bit further. If Mr. Unreliable would have made both of his free throws and played better defense against Love, he, his teammates, and Coach K would have probably played in the National Championship Game; Coach K, with the win on Monday night, would be able to ride off into the sunset with his sixth championship ring; and this year’s team would have been forever cemented into Duke lore.
Instead, he and his teammates had to go to class on Monday and Coach K now has to start looking at nursing homes earlier than expected. Too bad, so sad.
Altogether, the UNC faithful will forever have the trump card over Duke. The Tar Heels beat Coach K in his last game at Cameron Indoor and beat him in his last game ever. In the Final Four, of all games.
Tough pills to swallow if you are a Duke fan.
If you are a Carolina fan, you should never think about swallowing any pills or doing any drugs to get a dopamine hit. Why? Because you can watch highlights of this Final Four game for the rest of time to get higher than the sky.
National Championship
Kansas 72 North Carolina 69: Best comeback in the history of the sport. UNC looked like the ‘92 Dream Team toward the end of the first half, while Kansas looked like the stage was too big for them. But this game was a tale of two halves. The Jayhawks were much more aggressive to start the second half on both ends of the court, going on a 25-10 run within the first 9 minutes to tie the game at 50. Plus, Remy Martin (14 pts, 4/6 from deep) remembered how to shoot — and make — a basket, no longer looking like an injured deer trying to make its way across an icy road.
It is a tale as old as time: defense wins championships, and Kansas’ defense in the second half is why the school is now home to four men’s basketball national championships. I thought that UNC should have gone at McCormack much more in the second half, considering he picked up his third foul with ~18 minutes remaining. (He did not pick up his fourth foul until 3:45 left.)
Thank goodness, for sake of the Jayhawks, that the Tar Heels did not because McCormack (15 points, 10 rebounds) was a beast down the stretch. The senior big man averaged 20 points and 9.5 rebounds in New Orleans.
Congrats to Bill Self, who secured his second title and became the 15th* men’s college basketball coach to have at least two national championships. Given that Self’s first title came in 2008, there has never been more time in between a coach’s first title and second title** in the history of the men’s sport***, according to Tubz Unfiltered.
Glass half-full outlook for the Tar Heels: Saturday was their national title.
To wrap things up … For the gambling people that had UNC +4, you owe Dajuan Harris Jr. a beer or two (if he is of age). For the gambling people that had Kansas -4, he owes you money or whatever you want. What a tournament!
*This number would be 16, but Rick Pitino’s second title was vacated due to NCAA sanctions. I guess having strippers entertain recruits is against the rules. Who knew.
**2nd place: Indiana’s Branch McCracken: 1940 (first title), 1953 (second title)
**3rd place: UNC’s Dean Smith: 1982 (first title), 1993 (second title).
***Pitino would own the record of this useless stat (first title was in 1996 and second title was in 2013), but strippers entertaining recruits leads to stripped titles.
If you chuckled, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz