👮 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 49
A Fun Hypothetical; CFB + NFL Recap; Brett Favre = Scumbag
Happy Monday, y’all!
Life is good. Let us begin.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
I know that all of my subscribers are law-abiding citizens. Despite that, how long could you last in jail? Let’s assume that you are in the clink for a white collar crime because there are certain types of crimes where you would not last very long if others caught wind of it, regardless of what you think of your mental fortitude.
I am not lasting longer than a month, possibly even less. Sure, it would be easy to get into a routine by working out and reading books religiously because what the hell else is there to do? But I feel like I would innocently make one wrong look and, well, be in deep deep trouble. Plus, showering would make me uncomfortable. I also talk and snore while I sleep (I am working on it), so if I had a roommate, there is a good chance that he would shank me.
Speaking of sleep, I am going to go out on a limb and declare that the beds are worse than cardboard. Homeless people might have better sleeping quarters (especially in Los Angeles). I need comfortable sleep in order to properly function. Jail sounds awful.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
COLLEGE FOOTBALL RECAP
WASHINGTON 39 Michigan State 28: The Huskies took Sparty to the wood shed in this one. Do not be fooled by that score; Washington was up, 39-14, with 9 minutes left. Michigan State’s achilles heel last year was its pass defense, ranking last in the FBS.
Looks like the Spartans are much of the same this season in that regard as Washington QB Michael Penix (former Indiana QB) torched ‘em for 397 yards and four touchdowns. Up next for MSU is Minnesota.
TEXAS A&M 17 Miami (FL) 9: A&M fans and the yell leaders would have had a stroke if the Aggies dropped two in a row. No medical bills for them, though, because A&M scratched and clawed its way to a victory.
Too bad for A&M that they are going to waste an excellent defense; its offense is worse than everything about College Station, which is saying something. The Aggies will be in my backyard next week when they face off against Arkansas at Jerry’s World in a top-25 matchup.
APP STATE 32 Troy 28: App State hosted College GameDay for the first time in program history and capped off the historic day with a play for the ages. Down 28-26 with two seconds left, QB Chase Brice chucked it up, WR Christian Horn showed off some slick hand-eye coordination on the tip drill, and pandemonium ensued.
NFL RECAP
JETS 31 Browns 30: The Browns scored on a 12-yard rush by Nick Chubb, his third of the game, to go up, 30-17, with under two minutes left. (Missed extra point.) At this point in the game, Cleveland’s probability to win the game was 99.9%. Moreover, teams leading by at least 13 points in the final two minutes were 2,229-0, according to ESPN Stats. Change that to 2,229-1.
The Jets scored on a long pass from Joe Flacco to Corey Davis to get within one score, recovered an onside kick, then Flacco connected with rookie wideout Garrett Wilson (8 receptions/102 yards/2 TDs) from 15 yards out on third down with 20 seconds left. Karma for the Browns for giving Deshaun Watson a fully guaranteed contract? People are asking.
BUCS 20 Saints 10: Saints QB Jameis Winston was quite bad in this one (3 INTs) — in other words, water is wet. However, Tom Brady was not his typical self by any means, either (18/34, 190 yards, only 1 TD), and was a massive cry baby throughout, but the Bucs’ defense lifted him up just like a plastic surgeon lifted his face, recording six sacks. They host the Packers in Week 3.
DOLPHINS 42 Ravens 38: The Ravens got off to a blazing hot start behind the legs and arm of QB Lamar Jackson, as they were up 35-14 late at the end of the third quarter, but the Dolphins got ahold of some Miami bam-bam — not to be confused with Colombian bam-bam — before the fourth and scored on their final four possessions to move to 2-0 for the first time since god knows when.
Of note, the team’s bus was definitely broken into, or at the very minimum, the tires were slashed because Baltimore is a sketchy city. Tua, without a doubt, had the best game of his young career, chucking the ball for 469 yards and 6 touchdowns on 50 attempts. Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle each had 11 receptions and two touchdowns.
CARDINALS 29 Raiders 23: Fast forward to the end of the game. Cardinals QB Kyler Murray scrambled around inside the red zone as time was expiring and scored to pull AZ within two. In classic fashion, the Cardinals committed a delay of game prior the two-point conversion try, but they overcame that as Murray connected with AJ Green to force overtime.
After forcing a turnover on downs, the Raiders were marching down the field, but WR Hunter “A Real Gym Rat” Renfrow fumbled, which was recovered. Two plays later, he fumbled again and Byron Murphy recovered and sprinted to the other endzone. Ball game.
The Demise of Brett Favre:
Let’s get this out of the way first: Brett Favre was a legend on the football field. He loved to sling the pigskin around the yard and was damn good at doing so. However, he is not a role model. Not even close. In fact, he is a scumbag.
You probably know about him abusing pills during his playing days, which I most certainly forgive because addiction is a disease, and you also probably know about him sending dick pics back in the day to a woman, Jennifer Sterger, while he was married. His latest acts, though, are beyond messed up.
First, his business, Favre Enterprises, received $1.1 million in welfare money in exchange for Favre to speak at three different events and, as Favre claimed, do some radio commercials. He never held up his end of the bargain. More specifically, per ESPN, his business, Favre Enterprises, “received $500,000 in December 2017 and $600,000 in June 2018 from the Mississippi Community Education Center. … Mississippi is one of the poorest states in the U.S., and the community education center had contracts with Human Services to spend money through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program.”
Favre sent a text to Nancy New, the founder of that non-profit entity, in August 2017, asking whether there is anyway that the media will find out about how much Favre was paid and from who. New responded: “No, we never have had that information publicized.” Lol.
He eventually repaid the money, which is probably the most noble thing he has done off the field in his life. The bar is obviously low.
Now, per Mississippi Today, then-Mississippi governor was in cohoots with Favre to direct welfare funding toward a new volleyball stadium at Southern Miss, where Favre’s daughter played volleyball.
The texts show that the then-governor even guided Favre on how to write a funding proposal so that it could be accepted by the Mississippi Department of Human Services – even after Bryant ousted the former welfare agency director John Davis for suspected fraud.
How much in funding? Oh, just a casual $5 million. And that $1.1 million referenced above? It “was simply a way to get more funding to the volleyball project.” The texts were revealed in connection with a civil lawsuit that deals with the state’s welfare scandal, whereby almost $80 million in welfare funding was misspent.
All of this prompted Jeff Pearlman, who wrote a book on Favre titled, “Gunslinger: The Remarkable, Improbable, Iconic Life of Brett Favre,” to tweet that people should not buy that book any longer because Favre is a massive piece of sh*t (h/t one of my subscribers).
TL; DR: Favre ~allegedly~ took money away from helping people in the poorest state in the United States of America. Disgusting.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz