⚽ Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 58
The Return of Viral Video; Don't Commit Tax Fraud; CFB and NFL Recap
Happy Monday, y’all!
I am still full from Thanksgiving.
Also, I know y’all are busy, but you should spare 5 minutes and read my piece about the Badgers’ hire of Luke Fickell — everything you need to know about the new man in charge. The Wisconsin Way that we all knew and grew accustomed to is now a thing of the past. This hire marks a new era of Wisconsin football, as evident by Fickell’s contract. ESPN’s Pete Thamel reported Monday that the former Cincy head coach was rewarded with a 7-year deal worth $7.9M annually.
📺 VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK 📺
I had to bring the Viral Video of the Week out of retirement to showcase some Saudi Arabians going bonkers after Saudi Arabia pulled off a massive upset against Lionel Messi-led Argentina, 2-1, in the team’s opening match of the World Cup. According to a some nerd data company (Gracenote), Saudi Arabia had a 8.7% chance to win, making it the most improbable World Cup win in history.
So what do you do when your country accomplishes a feat like that? You rip a door off the hinges and Gronk-spike it the best your little scrawny arms can muster. Electric factory.
What do we think about that gentleman shown beginning at the 0:22 mark? He either (a) is a Zen master (unlikely because I feel like practicing a state of zen is disallowed in Saudi Arabia), (b) put a large sum of money on Argentina because he hates his country, or (c) wishes he lived in a country where he could watch a sporting event with women, or even a singular woman.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
‘Chrisley Knows Best’ Stars Sentenced To Combined 19 Years In Prison
I think I saw one episode of “Chrisley Knows Best” — reality TV is not really my jam — but apparently a lot of people watched and enjoyed. Well, those people are going to have to find a new reality TV show to watch because the stars are going to the clink for a combined 19 years (Todd = 12 years; Julie = 7 years). The sleazy couple’s former accountant is also going to prison for 3 years.
Why will they be wearing orange jumpsuits for the foreseeable future?
Todd Chrisley got a lighter sentence than expected with guidelines suggesting he could get up to 22 years in prison and his wife Julie Chrisley could have been sentenced to around 12 and a half years after being found guilty in June of conspiring to defraud community banks out of more than $30 million of fraudulent loans, as well as a number of tax crimes, including conspiring to defraud the IRS, tax evasion, while Julie Chrisley was found guilty of wire fraud and obstruction of justice. (Source)
According to the Department of Justice, evidence in the case showed that the Chrisleys were able to obtain the loans by submitting false bank statements, audit reports and financial statements. The money was used to buy luxury cars, designer clothes, real estate and travel, a DOJ press release stated. (Source)
Their accountant, Peter Tarantino, was … sentenced to three years in prison after being found guilty of filing two false corporate tax returns on behalf of the Chrisley’s company. (Source)
What is preposterous is that, even after being convicted, the couple still did not acknowledge, “Hey, you know what, hand up, we fudged up,” which is why the judge threw the book at them according to a litigation attorney quoted in this article. Morons. Hope they enjoy playing with blocks in prison.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
COLLEGE FOOTBALL RECAP
MICHIGAN 45 Ohio State 23: The Michigan Wolverines are the new bullies of the Big Ten. Let that sink in. Jim Harbaugh had his salary cut in half prior to the 2021 season and how did he respond? He has spanked Ohio State the past two seasons (Saturday was the first victory in Columbus for Michigan since 2000), won a B1G title and made it to the CFB Playoff for the first time last year, and is on the cusp of accomplishing both feats again this year.
A season ago, Michigan won by simply running the ball down Ohio State’s throat and putting what seemed like endless pressure on QB CJ Stroud. This year? They got massive explosive plays through the air and on the ground — without its best player, running back Blake Corum, for almost the entire game — while the defense kept Ohio State’s dominant offense in check and picked off Stroud twice. The Wolverines had touchdown plays of 69 yards (pass), 75 yards (pass), 45 yards (pass), 75 yards (run), and 85 yards (run).
Luckily for Ryan Day and his team, they are still in the mix for the Playoff. If they are ranked No. 5 when the rankings come out on Tuesday and either TCU or USC (the two teams likely to lose that are in poll positions) are defeated in their respective conference champ games, then the Buckeyes should be in.
OREGON STATE 38 Oregon 34: Four things from this rivalry game: (1) Oregon blew a 21-point lead; (2) Oregon State starting QB Ben Gulbranson only threw 13 passes, including 2 INTs, for 60 yards; (3) the Beavers ran the ball 16 straight times to finish the game; and (4) Oregon State’s victory was only its third in the last 15 contests against the Ducks.
SOUTH CAROLINA 31 Clemson 30: Is Clemson back to Clemson’ing? The Gamecocks outscored the Tigers in the second half, 17 to 7, and held QB DJ Uiagalelei to an abysmal performance (8/29, 99 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT), en route to their second win in as many contests against a top 10 foe. Beamer Ball is alive and well in Columbia. The loss for Clemson snapped its 40-game home winning streak.
NFL RECAP
Hand up: I did not actively watch any NFL game on Sunday — except for the Packers game — because, well, I was too busy going ham on everything related to Wisconsin’s hire of Fickell. So, a lot of this will box score gawking.
BROWNS 23 Buccaneers 17: Tight end David Njoku caught a touchdown pass to tie the game with 30 seconds left. The Bucs should have played better defense there. The teams exchanged punts in overtime, until Jacoby Brissett connected with Amari Cooper for a 45-yard pitch-and-catch to Tampa’s 2. Again, the Bucs should have played better defense there. The sicko quarterback returns for Cleveland for Sunday’s game against his former team, the Texans.
JAGUARS 28 Ravens 27: The Jaguars scored a touchdown at the end of the game and because Doug Pederson has big ole mellons, he opted to go for 2 and was successful. Jacksonville now has four wins, which ties the combined number of wins that they had in the 2020 season (3 wins) and 2021 season (1 win).
EAGLES 40 Packers 33: The Bad: The Packers could not stop the run to save their damn lives, allowing 363 (!!) yards on the ground (7.4 yards/carry). QB Jalen Hurts chipped in 17 carries for 157 yards, as well as 153 passing yards, and Miles Sanders carried the rock 21 times for 143 yards and 2 touchdowns. Hurts became the fourth player in the Super Bowl era to pass for 150+ yards and run for 150+ yards in the same game. One of the others? Colin Kaepernick, who did so against — yep, you guessed it — the Green Bay Packers in 2012.
The Good: WR Christian Watson and QB Jordan Love a/k/a the future of the Green Bay Packers. That 63-yard connection made my pants fit funny.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz