💁♀️ Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 60
Olive Garden fiasco; World Cup + NFL Recap
Happy Monday, y’all!
Let’s break bread and count our blessings.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Washington Post: Olive Garden fires manager for time-off rant: ‘If your dog died ... prove it’
What an all-time Karen move. I am sympathetic to the current state of affairs — the economy isn’t exactly going swimmingly; the holidays are right around the corner, which brings stress for some people; and we still do not have universal basic income — but the no-named manager should consider a free 30-day pass to Headspace (or you should consider it because meditation is great for the mind! The first person to claim it gets it) because she is so damn uptight.
The manager of a Kansas location of the Italian-food chain was recently fired after sending a message to employees threatening them over the number of times they were calling out of work and demanding proof of sickness, dead dogs and family emergencies.
“From now on, if you call off, you might as well go out and look for another job,” read the message to workers at a location in Overland Park, according to a local news report by KCTV5. “We are no longer tolerating ANY excuse for calling off.”
The manager, who was not named, demanded that staff provide evidence for any reason they might have for not making their shift. “If you’re sick, you need to come prove it to us. If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us. If it’s a ‘family emergency’ and you can’t say, too bad. Go work somewhere else.”
Story time: I went on a date with a female over the summer and she said that she used to have a little kitty (first red flag tbh). Little Ms. Kitty grew ill and died during the night, so she threw it in the dumpster the next morning at the ass crack of dawn.
Suffice to say, hypothetically obviously, if she worked at this particular Olive Garden and told the manager she was mourning the loss of little Ms. Kitty and therefore could not work her designated shift, which then prompted the manager to ask for proof, the female I went on a date with would be unable to provide proof.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
WORLD CUP RECAP
When I started Tubz Unfiltered, I never thought in a million years that I would write about soccer, but life is full of surprises.
Morocco, who has yet to drop a match this World Cup, became the first African country to make the semifinals after getting past RoFRAUDo (gotta workshop that) and Portgual, 1-0. Morocco will face off against France in the semifinals on Wednesday after the French were victorious against the Lads.
England’s Harry Kane converted on a penalty kick to knot it up at 1 in the 54th minute, and France countered in the 78th minute with a goal by Olivier Giroud on a gorgeous header. Kane had another penalty kick late in the second half, with the opportunity to become England’s all-time goal scorer. That man shanked it worse than Blair Walsh against the Seahawks in the 2015 Wild Card round. I wonder whether some weirdo astronauts will retrieve the ball when they go to space next. 2-1, France.
Argentina (beat the Netherlands) and Croatia (beat Brazil) will face off on Tuesday in the other semifinal contest. And that was your once-in-a-blue-moon soccer update.
NFL RECAP
LIONS 34 Vikings 23: The Lions, surprisingly, were favored by 1.5 points and were one of the most bet on teams by the public. They should have been favored by more as Dan Campbell’s squad has now won five of their last six games and will continue to play meaningful December games this season for the first time since 2016, the last time they made the playoffs.
Detroit faced a third-and-7 late in the game, up by 8. Common sense would tell you that Campbell and the offensive coordinator would run the ball and drain the clock. However, Campbell and the offensive coordinator do not operate in the common sense world because tackle Penei Sewell shifted in motion and the big fella caught a pass in the flat for a first down to keep the chains moving.
I mentioned last week that the Vikings may be frauds. Here’s an update: What do the Vikings and SBF (the former FTX CEO) have in common? They are both frauds.
Sure, the offense can put up points and Justin Jefferson is the best wide receiver in the game — his 223 receiving yards in Sunday’s contest were the most in a single game in franchise history — but the defense, well, has now allowed 400-plus total yards in five straight games. Plus, Minnesota has a point differential of -1 (the first 10-3 team to ever have a negative point differential). Let’s compare that with the point differential of the three other teams that have a 10-3 record: the Bills (+132), Cowboys (+131), and Chiefs (+86).
EAGLES 48 Giants 22: The Eagles clinched a playoff berth and are officially a wagon, while the Giants are wandering through the Oregon Trail with dysentery. RB Miles Sanders and WR AJ Brown became the first Philly RB-WR duo to both eclipse 1,000 yards since 2014 (RB LeSean McCoy and WR Jeremy Maclin).
PANTHERS 30 Seahawks 24: Seattle, what happenedddddd? Carolina spanked ‘em on the ground — that’s what happened — accumulating 223 yards on 46 carries (4.8 yards/carry) with the likes of Chuba Hubbard (14 carries for 74 yards and 1 TD), D’Onta Foreman (21 carries for 74 yards), and Raheem Blackshear (4 carries for 32 yards and 1 TD). After starting the season 6-3, the Seahawks have dropped three of four. Meanwhile, with the Bucs’ ugly loss to the 49ers, the Panthers (and the Falcons) are one game out of first place in the NFC South.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
NBC News — Brittney Griner opened up during her long trip home
This is not meant to be a political discussion whatsoever. Instead, I will simply state the following: I am glad that Brittney Griner is back home in the US of A.
WNBA star Brittney Griner didn’t want any alone time as soon as she boarded a U.S. government plane that would bring her home.
“I have been in prison for 10 months now, listening to Russian. I want to talk,” Griner said, according to Roger Carstens, the special presidential envoy for hostage affairs, who helped secure the basketball star’s release and bring her back to the U.S. last week.
She then asked Carstens, referring to others on the plane: “But, first of all, who are these guys?”
“And she moved right past me and went to every member on that crew, looked them in the eyes, shook their hands and asked about them, got their names, making a personal connection with them.,” Carstens recalled. “It was really amazing.”
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz