✈️ Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 63
Landing an airplane; CFB National Championship + NFL Recap
Happy Monday, y’all!
Two pieces of advice to carry you throughout the rest of the week: (1) Do things that make you happy, and (2) do not be helicopter parents, like the parents of US Men’s Soccer member Gio Reyna.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
How confident are you that you could safely land a passenger airplane in an emergency situation, relying only on the assistance of air traffic control?
Over 20,000 US adults were surveyed, and 32% had some confidence (19% = somewhat confident; 13% = very confident) that they could safely land a passenger airplane in an emergency situation, relying only on the assistance of air traffic control.
Among the males surveyed, a whopping 46% had some confidence (26% = somewhat confident; 20% = very confident). But among the females surveyed, only 20% had some confidence (13% = somewhat confident; 7% = very confident).
My question: what are my surroundings? Oh, we’re headed into the Hudson? I have seen a few scenes from Sully. I can definitely get us to safely land in a body of water. Should not, and would not, be that hard. It is all about proper communication and making sure, ahead of time, that your co-pilot is not a certified dumb-dumb.
On the other hand, if there are a bunch of skyscrapers around and there is not a body of water or some type of open field to land on nearby, I am gonna be firing off texts like it is 2am on a weekend.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
CFB NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
GEORGIA A LOT TCU not enough: I know the game is technically not over, but I want to go to bed because it is currently 59-7. Sue me. No Hollywood ending for TCU. Instead, the game was over barely after it started. In the first half alone, Georgia averaged 9.3 yards per play and outgained the Horned Frogs, 354 to 121, en route to a 38-7 halftime lead.
At the end of the day, the bigger, faster, and stronger team won the game. Why is Georgia bigger, faster, and stronger? Pretty simple: Kirby Smart recruits and develops talent at an elite level. Per Sports Illustrated’s Ross Dellenger, Georgia signed 77 four- or five-star recruits in the last four recruiting classes. TCU signed 17.
Georgia becomes the 11th team since the end of World War II to repeat as champion and only the fifth team to do so without splitting the title, per ESPN’s Bill Connelly. The last team to do so was Alabama in 2011 and 2012.
Despite the ass kicking, helluva season for TCU and first-year head coach Sonny Dykes.
NFL RECAP
BILLS 35 Patriots 23: Buffalo and its fans had heavy hearts coming into this divisional game after what they all experienced on Monday night with Damar Hamlin, who was able to watch the game and has since been discharged from the University of Cincinnati Medical Center and transported to a hospital in Buffalo. In fact, per the Associated Press: “Coach Sean McDermott said the team reached Hamlin by phone and had him count down the team's final huddle in the locker room.” How did the Bills respond? Nyheim Hines returned the opening kickoff to the house, like something scripted out of a gotdamn movie.
“I can’t remember a play that touched me like that I don’t think in my life. It’s probably No. 1,” quarterback Josh Allen said, who displayed his rocket arm on several occasions throughout Sunday’s victory. “It’s just spiritual. ... You can’t draw that one up or write that one up any better.”
Hines returned another kickoff for a touchdown midway through the third quarter. The loss eliminated the Patriots from the playoffs. Bill Belichick & Co. are 25-25 (25-26 if you include the playoffs) since moving on from Tom Brady.
49ERS 38 Cardinals 13: I am not showcasing this game because it was riveting or a nail biter. You can read the score (hopefully, anyway), you can see it was neither riveting nor a nail biter. Instead, I am showcasing this game because it was the last NFL game for JJ Watt — and quite possibly the last NFL game for Arizona HC Kliff Kingsbury, who was shown the door Monday morning.
Watt, the three-time Defensive Player of the Year and five-time All-Pro honoree, finished his illustrious on a high note: five combined tackles, three tackles for loss, and two sacks. He closed the 2022 campaign with 12.5 sacks, his sixth season of double-digit sacks.
He exits the NFL as the only player in league history to register multiple 20 sack seasons (2012 and 2014). Further, the 2017 Walter Payton Man of the Year was top 5 in the following categories since he entered the league in 2011: QB Hits (1st; 315), TFLs (1st; 194), fumble recoveries (2nd; 17), forced fumbles (t3rd; 27), and sacks (4th; 113.5).
First-ballot Hall of Fame induction for a dude from Pewaukee (WI) that started out as a tight end at Central Michigan, walked on at Wisconsin, and was booed on draft night. Salute.
LIONS 20 Packers 16: Once Aaron Rodgers connected with Allen Lazard for six in the third quarter to give the Packers the lead, I thought the Packers would not look back and secure their fourth playoff appearance in as many years. Hand up, I was wrong. Quay Walker committed a costly, bone-headed unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that gave the Lions a first and goal — it would have been 2nd and 9 without the penalty — when he pushed a TEAM PHYSICIAN TENDING TO AN INJURED LIONS PLAYER; Rodgers (17/27, 205 yards, 83.1 passer rating) played hero ball on his interception; and the defense could not get the necessary stops.
Plus, even before the Packers took the lead, the offense failed to step on Detroit’s throat (metaphorically, obviously; not trying to promote violence), settling for field goals far too many times and turning it over late in the first half in plus territory (a fumble by Aaron Jones).
The Lions came into the game as one of the worst teams against the run — 149.3 rushing yards per game (29th), 5.3 yards per carry (30th), and 1.4 rushing touchdowns per game (30th). Jones and AJ Dillon combined for 21 carries for 81 yards (3.8 yards/carry) and zero touchdowns. Overall, the team had 28 rushing attempts for 103 yards (3.7 yards/carry).
Let’s return to Rodgers’ interception. Notice Lazard’s route. Right at the sticks. Makes me want to pull out what little hair I actually have.
Anywho, peep the below tweet. Maybe this means Rodgers is going to retire, or maybe this means Rodgers did not want to give his jersey to some rookie, whom he has no connections with, that has been playing in the NFL for less than the time that Rodgers was w/ Blue of Earth (or whatever the hell her name is). Either way, buckle up for the offseason to consist of retirement rumors for No. 12, who has $50M+ guaranteed on the line for the 2023 season. Frankly, I am ready for the Jordan Love era.
Last but not least, I have to give Jamaal Williams his flowers. The former Packer scored his 16th and 17th rushing touchdown of the season Sunday night, catapulting him into first place in team history for the most rushing touchdowns in a single season. He passed Barry Sanders, a decent running back in his own right.
The 2022 NFL playoff field is set. The Chiefs and the Eagles earned a bye in their respective conferences as the No. 1 seed.
There are a number of teams returning to the postseason after a fairly lengthy hiatus: Dolphins (2016-17 season), Giants (2016-17 season), Jaguars (2017-18 season, when they advanced to the AFC Championship), and Chargers (2018-19 season). In addition, the Seahawks are back in the playoffs after missing out last season, as are the Vikings who watched the playoffs from home the last two seasons. Thus, there are six new teams in the postseason.
SATURDAY, JAN. 14
(7) Seahawks at (2) 49ers (3:30pm CST, Fox)
(5) Chargers at (4) Jaguars (7:15pm CST, NBC)
SUNDAY, JAN. 15
(7) Dolphins at (2) Bills (12pm CST, CBS)
(6) Giants at (3) Vikings (3:30pm CST, Fox)
(6) Ravens at (3) Bengals (7:15pm CST, NBC)
MONDAY, JAN. 16
(5) Cowboys at (4) Buccaneers (7:15pm CST, ESPN/ABC)
One last thing because this section has not been long enough already: All the Texans needed to do in order to secure the No. 1 overall pick was lose to the Colts. They won, by converting on a wild hail mary on 4th and 20 and then instead of playing for overtime with under a minute left, they went for two and were successful. Head coach Lovie Smith was pretty much immediately fired. So, the Chicago Bears, for the first time since 1947, own the first selection in the draft.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
Kevin McCarthy Finally Secures Speakership In 15th Ballot After Tense Moments Of GOP Infighting On House Floor
If at first you do not succeed, try and try again. In fact, try so damn hard that you end up breaking a record that stood since before the Civil War for how many times that you actually fail before achieving what you want. Good for Speaker McCarthy, I guess? Our political world is such a mess, we should try unplugging it and plugging it back in to see if that makes a difference. Maybe blow on it, too, given how much dust has accumulated (read: let’s introduce term limits).
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz