🚓 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 64
#BackEachOther; SUPER Wildcard Weekend Recap; Break Point
Happy Monday, y’all!
It is an abnormally long one (that’s what she said *Michel Scott voice*) today, so let’s go ahead and break bread already.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
NY Post: Tennessee cops, including married female officer, fired after repeated wild sex romps
Speaking of that’s what she said — actually, more like that’s what she did — woo buddy. I am sure some of you #BackTheBlue, which is perfectly OK because that is your First Amendment right. Well, these police officers took #BackTheBlue to a whole new level if you catch my drift. You know what, let’s take it one step further: I wonder if they had the following hashtag in some group chat, #BackEachOther.
A small Tennessee police station has been rocked by allegations of wild sexual misconduct, after a married female officer allegedly had steamy romps with six male officers, including illicit on-duty liaisons, according to reports.
Officer Maegan Hall and her fellow law officers allegedly engaged in wild sexcapades that included sending dirty pictures, taking her top off at a “Girls Gone Wild” hot tub party, and even having oral sex with two officers at the La Vergne, Tenn., police station, WTVF TV reported.
Officials began to look into the swinging personal lives of the amorous officers when La Vergne Mayor Jason Cole received a tip that Hall was sleeping with several fellow cops and had a threesome with Patrick Magliocco and his wife, among other claims.
When asked about the tip, Magliocco admitted to having sex with Hall on “numerous occasions,” the report said.
The station was definitely rocked, that is for sure. Tax dollars at work!
Also, Officer Hall told — eh, most likely bragged about to — her fellow officers that she was in an open marriage. The problem with that was she never told her husband about the open marriage arrangement. I am not a marriage expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am certain that in order to have a “successful” open marriage, the parameters need to be communicated and agreed upon between the spouses. Or else it is simply cheating. Maybe that’s just me though.
At the end of the day, she might have a couple of screws loose. I wonder what career she will pivot to. I have a guess.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
49ERS 41 Seahawks 23: The Seahawks hung with ‘em for a bit, but ultimately San Francisco’s talent overpowered in the end. That talent includes its third-string quarterback, Brock Purdy. Purdalicious became the first rookie quarterback to sling it for 200 yards and 2 touchdowns in a playoff victory since …. 1937. The 49ers will host the Cowboys next week; will they smoke the ‘Boys like a pack of Marlboro reds, given how well San Francisco has been playing over the last 2+ months? Not so fast, my friends! Should be a helluva game.
JAGUARS 31 Chargers 30: QB Trevor Lawrence’s first half — as many completions (4) as interceptions (4) through the team’s first six drives + an abysmal 24.5 passer rating — versus the second half — 18/23, 211 yards, 3 TDs, 144.5 passer rating — is the classic “You” versus “the dude she told you not to worry about.”
One of the reasons why the Jaguars were able to erase first half deficits of 27-0 and 27-7 was because the Chargers called only eight run plays in the second half, compared to 25 pass plays.
The Chargers choked, no doubt about it, but let’s give credit where credit is due: HC Doug Pederson’s fourth down call late in the fourth was masterful, ultimately setting the Jags up for game-winning chip shot. That field goal attempt was for the win, rather than the tie, because the Jags converted a successful two-point try on their prior possession. (An unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on DE Joey Bosa after the Jax’s touchdown presumably nudged Pederson to go for two.)
Compare Pederson’s decision to go for it with the decision that Staley made when he decided to kick a 40-yard field goal (a miss) with ~9 minutes left on fourth and three. Guts, confidence, and playing to win versus timidness and playing to lose.
Finally, while Al Michaels and Tony Dungy are legends in their own right, they had zero emotion during Jacksonville’s comeback. They announced the big moments like they were trying to put a baby to sleep.
BILLS 34 Dolphins 31: The Bills f’ed around and almost found out. Thankfully for the Bills, the Dolphins’ clock management was as bad as stepping in dog crap. Advice to HC Mike McDaniel, who appeared to be rippin’ a vape pen on the sideline (no bueno, by the way): exiting the huddle with under 10 seconds is not ideal nor is taking a delay of game on fourth and one with the outcome hanging in the balance.
GIANTS 31 Vikings 24: I wrote before that the Vikings are/were frauds. Well, the proof is in the pudding and I’m eating that sh*t up.
QB Danny Dimes was absolutely on one against the Vikings defense, completing 24 of 35 passes for 301 yards and 2 touchdowns (114.1 passer rating) and leading the team in rushing with 78 yards. Giants DL Dexter Lawrence was also on one as he registered a team-high eight pressures and a team-high four QB hits, to go along with six tackles.
And while Kirk Cousins had a fine game in his own right (31/39, 273 yards, 2 TDs, 112.9 passer rating), he threw well short of the sticks on fourth down with the game on the line because he cooks his steak in tinfoil on the grill and eats with a bib.
BENGALS 24 Ravens 17: Fast forward to the 4th quarter. QB Tyler Huntley, Mr. butter fingers, had the ball snatched from him when he tried to cross the plane of the end zone, which was returned the other way for 98 yards by DE Sam Hubbard for six — the longest fumble return for a touchdown in playoff history — that gave the Bengals the lead for good, 24-17, with under 12 minutes left.
Hubbard was shown with an oxygen mask on the sideline after he traveled 123.6 yards (per Next Gen Stats), which is ironic because there is a similar picture of me after walking up multiple flights of stairs. Built different.
The Ravens had the ball late in the game and their clock management was as bad as opening up a tupperware full of week-old tuna, as they huddled multiple times under two minutes WITH TIMEOUTS REMAINING. How NFL coaches continue to sh*t the bed regarding clock management baffles me.
COWBOYS 31 Buccaneers: The Cowboys will go as far as QB Dak Prescott takes them in the playoffs. And if Monday’s performance was any indication, the Cowboys just might represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. The Mississippi State product completed for 25 of 33 passes for 305 yards and 4 touchdowns (143.3 passer rating), becoming the first QB in team history to throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs in a playoff game.
Cowboys kicker Brett Maher, who missed four-straight extra points (he missed three during the regular season), either had money on the under or had the yips. Luckily for the Cowboys, those misses did not impact the final result. Any word on whether Jerry Jones pulled an Urban Meyer and kicked Maher after the game? Alternatively …
Is this it for Tom Brady, either as a member of the Bucs or an NFL QB? If so, a tough final act: 35/66, 351 yards (5.3 yards/attempt), 2 TDs, and 1 INT. His 72.2 passer rating matches his passer rating from last season’s playoff loss to the Rams in the divisional round, and both figures are the lowest since his last game as a Patriot (59.4 passer rating), a loss in the wild card round … Huh.
The Divisional Round matchups:
Saturday, Jan. 21
(4) Jaguars at (1) Chiefs (3:30pm CST, NBC)
(6) Giants at (1) Eagles (7:15pm CST, Fox)
Sunday, Jan. 22
(3) Bengals at (2) Bills (2pm CST, CBS)
(4) Cowboys at (2) 49ers (5:30pm CST, Fox)
How do you lose your full-ride Division-1 scholarship and, by the looks of it at this moment, throw your life away all in one swoop? You get charged with capital murder. Remember: innocent until proven guilty. That is the story of ~former~ Alabama basketball player Darius Miles (no relation to former NBA’er Darius Miles). Thoughts and prayers with the 23-year-old victim’s loved ones.
Tuscaloosa police Capt. Jack Kennedy said that the shooting occurred early Sunday morning in the Strip off University Blvd. near campus. He said Jamea Harris of the Birmingham area was shot and killed.
Miles, 21, and Michael Lynn Davis, 20, of Charles County, Maryland, were both charged with capital murder. The capital murder charge arose because the death involved shots fired into a vehicle, Kennedy said.
"At this time, it appears that the only motive was a minor altercation that these individuals had with the victim as they were out on the Strip,'' Kennedy said in a news conference Sunday evening.
He said the driver of another vehicle, in which Harris was a passenger, approached campus police near Bryant-Denny Stadium at about 1:45 a.m. saying that someone had shot into the vehicle, and he fired back. One of the suspects was treated for non-life-threatening injuries at a local hospital, and Kennedy declined to disclose who fired the gun or who was hurt.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
The Ringer: Can ‘Break Point’ Do for Tennis What ‘Drive to Survive’ Did for F1?
This could have, and probably should have, gone under the SPORTZ section, but whatever, I make the rules. Anywho, I highly suggest checking out Break Point on Netflix.
What makes Break Point such a fascinating docuseries, especially in relation to Drive to Survive, is just how unappealing it makes a tennis career out to be. The vast majority of players come away from tournaments feeling disappointed and must endure living out of suitcases for, as Fritz estimates, at least 30 weeks of the year.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz