🔥 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 66
Flamin' Hot Mansion; Conference Championship Recap; Ticketmaster hearing
Happy Monday, y’all!
Winter storm warning in Dallas, with freezing rain possible. Have you ever wondered what solitary confinement is like? I will let you know after the weather clears up.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Axios: Zillow listing of mansion on fire leads to sale
Let’s start off with the positives.
$90 monthly HOA fee seems like quite reasonable.
The more land, the better, so 4.88 acres will work just fine.
Franklin is a suburb of Nashville, a budding real estate market.
The negative (and this is a big one): the roof and other parts of the $1.499 million-listed house got absolutely cooked. Looks like something from Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto.
Despite that, a lot of people with silly money did not care. “Real estate agent Paula Duvall tells Axios she was inundated with calls.”
The chief dumb-dumb in this whole fiasco turned out to be Mike Thakur, the reported buyer of the Flamin’ Hot Mansion.
According to his LinkedIn profile: Thakur, of Houston, Texas, is a self-described “people helper, content creator, and impact chaser,” and the founder of WorkLodge, a commercial real estate company.
Thakur also has a YouTube channel (of course he does) with a whopping 5k subscribers as of Monday afternoon, so to no surprise, he recently uploaded a video titled, “I Bought A Burned Down Mansion.”
The comments in the video made this guy out to be the second coming of Gandhi. Altogether, the purchase feels like a publicity stunt of sorts — an expensive one, mind you — so I will leave you with this:
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
EAGLES 31 49ers 7: Once Chargers DE Joey Bosa, brother of 49ers DE Nick Bosa, showed yet again he has thinner skin than salamanders when heckled by some Philly fans before the game, it’s hard to not be surprised by the final result.
Through two playoff games, Philadelphia has outscored its opponents, 69-14, and is headed back to the Super Bowl for the first time since the 2017 season. No word yet on whether the city of the Philadelphia has been mildly set ablaze to cook some cheesesteaks as a result.
The Eagles scored on their first drive of the game, thanks in large part to an acrobatic, one-handed catch by WR Devonta Smith on fourth-and-3 from San Francisco’s 35-yard line that eventually set up a Miles Sanders rushing touchdown. HC Kyle Shanahan pooped the bed by not challenging Smith’s catch because the Fox replay showed that Smith did not maintain control; Shanahan was probably too busy fixing his stupid flat-brim hat.
Once 49ers QB Brock Purdy exited the game after he snapped his elbow in half on the ensuing possession, only to return in the third quarter because he literally had to after back-up Josh Johnson was ruled out with a concussion, the Birds never looked back.
San Francisco definitely shot themselves in the foot with penalties (11) and turnovers (3), but the tale of the tape was Philadelphia’s defensive domination up front, which has been the case all season long. (The Eagles amassed 70 sacks during the regular season, tied for the third most of all-time.)
What did domination exactly look like? A 61.9% pressure rate, according to Next Gen Stats, the third-best pressure rate by a defense this season. They also registered three sacks and seven QB hits, led by edge rusher and the team’s 2022 offseason home-run free agent signing Haason Reddick (2 sacks, 1 TFL, 1 fumble recovery, 1 QB hit). As I wrote last week, the team that wins at the line of scrimmage usually wins the game. The NFC Championship Game was no exception.
— — —
CHIEFS 23 Bengals 20: This one was the main event of all main events, but before I dive any deeper, let’s address the elephant in the room: the refs. They were trash. Now, I must acknowledge that a team does not win or lose because of the refs, but do not let that distract you from the fact that they were acting like Ray Charles (because they could not see or, at the very least, chose not to because #NFLRigged) and big ole dumb-dumbs. The latter of which was evident by the fact that the Bengals stopped the Chiefs on third down with ~10 minutes left, but the refs said the play did not count because they blew the whistle prior to the snap??
Regardless, I want whatever Patrick Mahomes had before the game because that dude looked like a magician out there despite dealing with a high ankle sprain. He finished with 326 passing yards for 2 touchdowns, to go along with a 105.4 passer rating.
Speaking of magicians, let’s bring DT Chris Jones into the conversation. The big man had two sacks, including a crucial one on third down with ~45 seconds left, and three tackles for loss. He needs to be talked about more as one of the best defensive tackles in the game.
After that third-down sack is when all hell broke loose, and the believers of #NFLRigged got all riled up. First off, not a great strategy IMO to punt the ball right down the middle, as Skyy Moore returned it for 29 yards. Did the refs miss a block in the back? They might have.
On third-and-four from the Bengals 47-yard line, Mahomes scampered for a first down and then Bengals LB Joseph Ossai clearly pushed Mahomes while he was out of bounds, resulting in an 15-yard unnecessary roughness penalty. MORON. I cannot stress that enough. Ossai is a moron, and as a result, he should lay low for a little and not show his face in public because there are some Cincinnati fans that would spit in that man’s face, among other heinous acts, if given the chance.
Putting that aside, it looks like the blind mice, disguised as refs, swallowed their whistle when they should not have on Mahomes’ scramble.
The 15-yard penalty put the Chiefs in prime field goal range, and Harrison Butker kicked it right down the you-know-what to send Kansas City to its third Super Bowl in four years.
Many have already dubbed this the Kelce Bowl — because center Jason Kelce (Eagles) and tight end Travis Kelce (Chiefs), who are brothers, will square off against each other — and/or the Andy Reid Bowl, because Reid coached the Eagles before being fired by them and hired by the Chiefs. These seem to be strong points in favor of #NFLRigged, just sayin’.
For the bettors: FanDuel, as of right now, has the Eagles as 1.5-point favorites.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
CNN: Ticketmaster gets grilled: 6 takeaways from hearing over Taylor Swift concert fiasco
Bippity boppity boooooooooooooo these politicians. What a joke. Ticketmaster is the worst because, among other reasons, they charge ridiculous fees and screw over the artists. A lot of people share that sentiment, so one would think that the elected officials would match that energy in the Ticketmaster hearing. Wrong. It looks like they spent more time than they should have planning on how to incorporate Taylor Swift lyrics into their charade, time that otherwise could have been spent diligently researching all of the necessary issues.
In all seriousness, this is a complex problem with no easy solutions. Notwithstanding that, I do not expect there to be much progress because Ticketmaster’s highly-paid lobbyists will likely be too busy lining the politicians’ pockets.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed, make sure to forward to others and/or share on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Great article Rex!! Love reading it every Monday!