📺 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 74
Succession Recap (SPOILER ALERT); March Madness / WBC / Lamar Jackson Recap; Worst States to Live In
Happy Monday, y’all!
My dad visited me in Dallas last week and we went to a rodeo at the Fort Worth Stockyards. It was an electric factory, but I did find out one thing about myself. While I enjoy country music, I am a city boy through and through.
I was thinking about wearing a Lululemon polo, but I then came to my senses and realized that I would stick out like a black sheep. The fact that I even thought of wearing that brand shows my true city boy colors.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
SPOILER ALERT: SEASON 4 PREMIERE OF SUCCESSION
Major spoiler alert. If you have not seen Episode 1 of Season 4, please keep scrolling. If you have not started watching the show, figure some things out and start watching it because it is the best show on television.
Episode 1 of Season 1 featured Logan’s birthday celebration, and Episode 1 of Season 4 also featured Logan’s birthday celebration. The difference? His kids weren’t in attendance in the most recent episode. They were too busy discussing The Hundred, a new media venture that was described as “Substack meets MasterClass meets the Economist meets the New Yorker.”
That discussion then morphed into submitting an offer for a rival media conglomerate to compete with the family business, while Logan asked the tight asses in the boardroom to provide some jokes to lighten the mood as he submitted an offer. Cousin Greg delivered in the most Greg way, but it came at the cost of getting roasted himself.
Sadly, Season 4 will be the show’s last, but rest assured, critics that have seen the first four episodes have had glowing reviews. We’re going to be in for one helluva final trip around the sun.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
MARCH MADNESS RECAP
What an unpredictable, wild-like-Carol-Baskin second weekend of March Madness.
Both No. 1 seeds remaining after the first weekend (Alabama and Houston) lost in the Sweet 16, marking the first time in the history of the tournament that zero No. 1 seeds made the Elite 8.
Three teams — San Diego State, Florida Atlantic, and Miami (FL) — are each headed to the Final Four for the first time. The last time that three teams made their Final Four debut in the same tournament? 1970.
This year’s Final Four is the first with zero former McDonald’s All-Americans since they started seeding teams in 1979, per ESPN’s Jeff Borzello.
The Final Four will not consist of any No. 1, No. 2, or No. 3 seed for the first time in history. Instead, it will consist of one four seed (UConn), two five seeds (San Diego State and Miami), and one nine seed (FAU).
The game of the second weekend was, without a doubt, Kansas State-Michigan State, an overtime thriller. With under a minute left in OT, KSU guard Markquis Nowell and Keyontae Johnson executed a picture-perfect alley-oop to take the lead. Nowell finished with 19 assists, an NCAA Tournament record. KSU then dropped a close one to FAU in the Elite 8.
The runner-up for the game of the weekend was Gonzaga-UCLA. The Zags were up by eight with a little over a minute left, but the Bruins came storming back — thanks to some missed free throws by Gonzaga — and took a one-point lead on a three-pointer by Amari Bailey with 13 seconds left. On the next possession, Julian Strawther sunk a three-pointer from the logo to clinch it for Gonzaga, who would get hog-tied by UConn in the Elite 8.
Texas choked against Miami (FL). And that is me being nice. But the refs did not help the Longhorns at the end of the game. One ref originally called over-the-back on a Miami player (the correct call IMO), but another jabroni ref overruled and called a foul on Texas. That gave Miami two free throws, both of which were made. The Hurricanes ended up winning, 88-81, largely due to the play of Jordan Miller (27 points; 7/7 from the field and 13/13 from the line). Jim Larrañaga, the head coach of Miami, has now taken two teams to the Final Four, 17 years apart.
The San Diego State-Creighton contest was a snooze fest, but the end of the game provided some dramatics at least. SDSU was inbounding from the sideline and made a what-the-eff pass, which was stolen by Creighton and led to a layup. Some Creighton dumb-dumb committed a clear foul against an SDSU player, which sent that player to the charity stripe for two free throws with 1.1 seconds left. He missed the first and sank the second with his butt clenched like none other. Ball game.
UConn has been a wagon through its first four games. The Huskies’ margins of victory: 24, 15, 23, and 28.
According to a certain sportsbook (no free ads), UConn is the heavy favorite to cut down the nets (-125), followed by San Diego State (+390), Miami (+500), and FAU (+600).
WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC
The United States of America lost in the Finals to Japan, so the whole tournament was a sham. Winning the World Baseball Classic is like being good at jump roping: nobody cares. Plus, our — yes, our — pitching staff, more or less, was made up of mechanics, further solidifying that the tournament was a sham. (The last at-bat was pretty cool, though.)
LAMAR JACKSON WANTS OUT
The Baltimore Ravens quarterback is sick and tired of living in Baltimore, so he demanded a trade on March 2, which did not become news until Monday. That is one of the many reasons why he needs a certified NFL Players Association agent. An agent would demand a trade, take a dump, and then make said trade demand a news story all within a few hours while also reaching out to teams to gauge interest.
Jackson does not appear close to hiring a certified NFLPA agent, but Pro Football Talk reported last week that a non-certified NFLPA agent “has contacted more than one team in an effort to spark negotiations aimed at a possible offer sheet.” That is against the rules. A big no-no.
NFL Media’s Ian Rapoport reported on Monday that Jackson and his poverty franchise were “actively negotiating … as recently as last week.”
The Ravens placed a non-exclusive tag on Jackson, which is worth roughly $32 million. That allows other teams to put together an offer sheet to sign Jackson, which the Ravens can match. If Baltimore does not match it, then the new team must trade two first-round draft picks to the Ravens. It would make sense for a team like the Indianapolis Colts, who have the fourth overall selection in this year’s draft, to wait until after the draft to submit an offer. What about the Patriots, though, owners of the 14th overall pick in the first round?
All of this song-and-dance may very well end with Jackson starting under center for the Ravens next season, but we shall see.
I WRITE ABOUT THE PACKERS
Some of you may be unaware, mainly because I have done an awful job at promoting it, but I write about the Packers for Cheesehead TV. Two articles per week during the offseason because I hate myself.
Anyway, I recently wrote about Rashan Gary’s next contract with the Packers and what that might look like. (Yes, I believe the team will re-sign him.) You can read my thoughts here.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
More like bath time pondering, but I digress. One of my buddies and I recently discussed different states in the United States that we would want to live in, and for the states at the bottom of our list, how much money we would need to make per year to live there.
Personally, I would need to make north of $200k to live in West Virginia because, well, it’s West Virginia. Same thing for Louisiana (#corruption and #hurricanes). To live in Alaska, I would need to make $500k per year. Sure, it is great during the summer, you get paid to live there, and there is no state income tax, but the winter months are brutal, like deadly brutal. If I have to piss myself to stay warm during the winter, I’ll need to be paid big coin.
The state has the second most accidental deaths of any state in America, trailing only Mississippi. A lot of people die from exposure to cold weather, or from carbon monoxide due to faulty heaters or chimneys.
Anchorage can get 60 inches of snow over a single winter, and the northern areas are a lot more than that.
In Fairbanks, the average temperature for January is 0. There may be a solid three months of near-zero degrees weather. Anchorage is not as cold, but still very cold in winter.
Alaska has a violent crime rate of 8.4 per 1,000 people, double the national average which is 4.0. Rape accounts for 18 percent of violent crimes. Alaska ranks seventh in the number of rape cases.
Just about everything has to be imported and that is made even more expensive by its remote location.
What would be some of the worst states to live in, and how much would you need to make per year to live there?
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Great writing Rex. Love the commentary!