🤐 Tubz 🛀 Unfiltered - Volume 75
Teacher resigns; Lotta Sportz; Update on Adnan Syed case
Happy Monday, y’all!
What are your thoughts on people that have a baby, or babies, out of wedlock? For starters, having a kid out of wedlock must be a heckuva adrenaline rush. I’m not so sure that all adrenaline rushes are created equal, but that is a story for a different day.
Altogether, painting with a broad brush, people occasionally get all horned up and occasionally are forgetful and/or have tunnel vision while they are horned up, resulting in an unplanned wittle baby that leads to a lot of collective side eyes from society. So, live and let live.
No, I did not knock a chick up.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Teacher resigns after taping 11-year-old boy’s mouth to stop him talking
There is a lot to unpack here.
First and foremost, there is a recent adage that the more you f*ck around, the more you find out. Well, the little whippersnapper named Brady, who “can be chatty and a class clown,” f*cked around by running his mouth and found out that in the mean streets of Smithfield Middle School (North Carolina), that will result in getting your mouth taped.
Brady’s mom asked her son via text who taped his mouth shut and he did not respond, which initially shows he was not a snitch. A good sign for his future. However, he later did become a snitch — not a good sign for his future — when he told the principal “that it had occurred multiple times to several kids in the classroom, and said that the teacher would also sometimes tape students’ wrists together.” The kid’s snitching essentially led the teacher to resign. Her teaching visa was also revoked and she went back to her home country. Thus, in effect, Brady got her deported.
The teacher appeared to use multiple strips of tape. His mouth looked like a crime scene. Seems like overkill. A slap on the wrist with a ruler would have sufficed. Just kidding, that’s assault.
I blame all of this on the adderall shortage.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
MEN’S FINAL FOUR/NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP
I was at a wedding on Saturday that took place during both Final Four games, but I was able to tune into the waning seconds of the FAU-San Diego State game. I thought SDSU guard Lamont Butler was not going to get a clean shot off as he was dribbling toward the baseline and looked like he was wandering aimlessly at the club looking for a female to dance with. But he reversed course to the short corner and redeemed himself by hitting nothing but nylon for the game-winner to send the Aztecs to the program’s first national championship game. SDSU’s 14-point comeback marked the third-largest comeback in Men’s National Semifinal history, per CBS Sports.
The cinderella story came to an end, though, on Monday night against the UConn Huskies. Head coach Dan Hurley and his squad — led by Adama Sanogo (17 PTS, 10 REB), Tristen Newton (19 PTS, 10 REB, 4 AST, 8/8 FT), and Jordan Hawkins (16 PTS, 4 REB) — clinched the program’s fifth national title, and first since 2014, with the 76-59 victory. All five championships have come since 1999. UConn is now tied with Duke and Indiana with the fourth-most national titles in the sport. That cements the Huskies as a blue blood.
Another reason why they are a blue blood: they have won the most championships in the sport since 1999. Duke and UNC are second over that span, with three titles each.
Regardless of whether or not you want to classify UConn as a blue blood, there is no denying this: the Huskies were a gotdamn locomotive throughout the tournament. So fast and so smooth on both ends of the floor. This year’s tourney showed that you need scorers to win and UConn had plenty of them at all three levels.
Further proof that the Huskies were a locomotive: Hurley & Co. became the fifth team to win all six games by double digits, joining Villanova (2018), North Carolina (2009), Duke (2001), and Michigan State (2000).
North Carolina: +121 scoring margin
UConn: +120
Villanova: +106
Duke: +100
Michigan State: +92
WOMEN’S FINAL FOUR/NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP
This year’s Women’s NCAA Tournament has, by far, received the most buzz and viewership in the history of the event, largely due to the presence of the best player in the game, Iowa’s Caitlin Clark.
The two NCAA tournament semifinal games averaged 4.5 million viewers, up 66% from last season’s Final Four games, per ESPN.
The Player of the Year recorded a 41-point triple-double in the Elite 8 and almost recorded another 41-point triple-double (41 points, 8 assists, and 6 rebounds) in the team’s upset of South Carolina in the Final Four. The Gamecocks were previously undefeated. After her performance against South Carolina, she put up more points through five games of tournament play (235) than the Hawkeyes’ football team did all season (230).
Remember the last B1G team to pull off a huge, if not monumental, upset in the Final Four against an undefeated team? Yep, the 2015 Badgers. And just like the Badgers that year, the Hawkeyes could not finish the deed as they were overwhelmed by LSU in the title game, 102-85. It was the Tigers’ first women’s basketball title. Head coach Kim Mulkey, who won three national titles as head coach with the Baylor Lady Bears, promised a national championship when she arrived in Baton Rouge and she delivered it in her only second year with the program. That is queen sh*t right there.
The LSU-Iowa national championship game averaged 9.9 million viewers, the most amount of viewers for a single game in the history of the sport.
There was a lot of online criticism about the officiating and the “classless” conduct by LSU’s Angel Reese (15 points, 10 rebounds, 5 assists, and 3 steals in the win) directed toward Clark. The officiating criticism checked out, but criticism on the “classless” conduct by Reese does not check out. It is bonkers that people got their panties in a wad.
Did Reese spit on Clark? Did she pull her hair? Did she give Clark the middle finger? Did she call Clark a derogatory name? No to the all above, huh? Was it a little over the top? Yeah, that is fair to say. I just don’t think it rose to the level of being classless.
Trash talking is part of the game. Always has been, always will be.
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Rejoice, WI sports bettors! You can now legally bet on sports in Milwaukee at the Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, the second establishment in which WI residents can legally bet on sports. Oneida Casino in Green Bay is the other.
The temporary sportsbook, which will be replaced by a much larger facility in early 2024, features a full bar, food service, dozens of lounge chairs and seats, even more televisions, a number of betting kiosks and a counter to place bets. Customers can also use a smartphone application to set up a bet, then have a code on their phone scanned to place it after arriving at the casino, 1721 W. Canal St.
Milwaukee mayor Cavalier Johnson placed the first bet, putting $20 on the Bucks to win the NBA Finals (+250). I’m not afraid to write what everyone is thinking: Betting $20 does not show a lot of confidence. In fact, it is a weak move. It’s almost as if Mayor Johnson is betting for PR purposes, rather than betting with his heart and soul as a Bucks fan.
Mayor Johnson’s gross pay for 2022 was $127,360.10. A $50 bet would have not only been financially responsible, but it would have instilled a lot more confidence in the city’s team. And to remind Mayor Johnson, after the fact: scared money don’t make money.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
An update on the case of Adnan Syed, which I originally wrote about in Volume 50. In short, the Maryland Appellate Court reinstated Syed’s conviction on an absurd technicality. What a crock of crap.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz