😢 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 80
Succession; NBA Finals matchup set; Where do you store your butter?
Happy Monday Tuesday, y’all!
It has been a hot minute since I published, but rest assured that this newsletter will be poppin’ this summer because I will be #TeamIndoors for the majority of the next three months in an attempt to survive the Kenya-like temperatures.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
SPOILER ALERT: SERIES FINALE OF SUCCESSION
What an exciting, heartbreaking, twist of a series finale for one of the best TV shows in American history. Three episodes into the season, the four Roy kids lost their father, and by the end of the season, it was clear how much their father scarred them on multiple levels.
Shiv was ready for her older brother to take the reins of the family heirloom after she found out she was not going to be named the US CEO of the new-look Waystar Co. As the deciding vote, she stabbed her brother in the back in classic family fashion, paving the way for the father of her child to oversee the operation. That was the only way, in my opinion, for her to feel any semblance of power in what is an incredibly messed up family dynamic. Logan put it perfectly earlier in the season: none of the kids were serious people.
Logan also once said that Kendall was not cut out to eventually lead the company because he was not a killer. Ironically, one of the reasons why Shiv thought that Kendall was not cut out to take over for his father on a permanent basis was because Kendall was ~allegedly~ an actual killer.
The series finale was a cliffhanger, to say the least, but it was also filled with a handful of what-the-eff moments. For instance, I don’t know what made me cringe more: (1) Kendall consoling Roman only to push his head against his shoulder to rupture the stitches; (2) Tom being told by Lukas Matsson, Tom’s new boss, that he wants to have sex with Shiv and that Tom is essentially going to be a puppet CEO; or (3) Roman bringing up Kendall’s illegitimate children in the heat of the moment before Shiv cast the deciding vote.
Finally, the last scene was a tear-jerker, in part because it signified another fat L for Kendall. Why did it show him by the water? Because water and Kendall have had a special relationship throughout the show. Reddit user PliablePotato put it perfectly.
Water always comes up at pivotal times within the show and it usually is around the finale. When he wins he swims in the water, when he loses he's face down in a pool, when he is pushed away he almost kills himself and is partially responsible for killing someone in water. Water is waystar royco. It's the thing he thrives to control and be in. It's what he wants to do when convincing his siblings to anoint him. The last shot is a permenant wall and fence between him and the one thing he's been striving for the whole show as he sits and watches the turbulent tide churn out of his reach.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
2023 NBA FINALS MATCHUP IS SET
What a thrilling, hold-onto-your-butts series between Boston and Miami. The Celtics were on the brink on becoming the first team in NBA history to come back from a 3-0 deficit after an all-time finish in Game 6. And then they went ice cold in Game 7 and it sounded like a gun range inside TD Garden whenever they attempted a shot from deep. Boston missed all ten of its three-point attempts in the first quarter and finished 9/42 (21.4%). To make matters worse, Jaylen Brown, who is eligible for a supermax contract after recently earning All-NBA honors, forgot how to handle the basketball. He finished with eight turnovers.
Boston has largely been known as the City of Champions since the turn of the century, but the city took a step back this postseason as it became the first city to lose a Game 7 at home to an eight seed in basketball and hockey in the same postseason. Meanwhile, Miami has two of its pro sports teams (Heat and the Florida Panthers) in the finals of their respective sports.
It is tough that fathom that the Heat are headed to the NBA Finals, considering they were trailing the Chicago Bulls in the fourth quarter of the last play-in game and have been without Tyler Herro (20.1 PTS, 5.4 REB, 4.2 AST during the regular season) since Game 1 of the first round.
Then again, head coach Erik Spoelstra is one of the best coaches in the game and the team has received contributions up and down the roster throughout the playoffs, including 26 points and 10 rebounds from Caleb Martin in the Game 7 victory. Himmy Butler took home Eastern Conference Finals MVP honors after averaging 24.7 points, 7.6 rebounds, 6.1 assists and 2.6 steals per game.
Miami became only the second No. 8 seed to make the NBA Finals, joining the 1999 New York Knicks. Nice story and all — don’t get me wrong — but they will get cooked in the Finals like someone in the Florida summer heat without sunscreen. According to one sportsbook, the Denver Nuggets, who are making their first NBA Finals appearance, are -360 favorites to take home the Larry O’Brien trophy.
— — —
The baseball commissioner has a message for Wisconsin. Fix American Family Field — or else
First off, #MillerParkForever. Will the Brewers actually move when their lease is up at the end of 2030? Unlikely, but one thing I have learned as an attorney is that you can never say never. In other words, always plan for the unexpected.
Wisconsin's Legislature and Gov. Tony Evers need to approve a plan to finance $448 million of long-term renovations at American Family Field — or perhaps risk the Milwaukee Brewers moving to another city.
That's the indirect message delivered Thursday by Major League Baseball Commissioner Robert Manfred on a visit to Milwaukee − part of a series of visits Manfred makes to MLB cities.
To be sure, Manfred didn't explicitly say the Brewers might leave Milwaukee once the team's lease of American Family Field expires at the end of 2030. And the ballclub's principal owner, Mark Attanasio, has said repeatedly he wants the team to stay in Milwaukee for the long term.
But Manfred told reporters it's important that a ballpark funding plan be promptly approved by government officials.
I’m not necessarily a numbers guy, but $448 million for long-term renovations seems like a bit much, considering it reportedly cost around $250 million to build the stadium. Manfred can sit on a cactus with his bare ass.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
Wall Street Journal: The Battle Over Refrigerating Butter: ‘Enough Is Enough’
I posted a poll on my Instagram to see how many people put their butter in the fridge or put it on the counter/outside of the fridge.
I was convinced that my followers were proper individuals and did not like to create additional trouble for themselves. I was convinced they knew that spreading hard butter practically dismantles the food they are spreading it on. Have you ever tried to spread hard butter on an Eggo waffle? It looks like a battle scene. No one needs that sort of PTSD. Plus, the amount of unnecessary crumbs generated has ants more hyped up than a blue-collar American at the Daytona 500.
Despite the aforementioned, 65% of the voters — a clear majority — answered that they keep the butter in the fridge after each use. That makes no sense. In fact, it makes as much sense as airlines boarding front to back, instead of back to front. Let’s not make it more complicated than it needs to be!
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Great article Rex! Always makes me laugh, but this one made me laugh even louder! :)