🙏 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 91
RIP Bob Barker; CFB Week 0; The House always win
Happy Monday, y’all!
I checked an item off my Texas bucket list this past weekend, as I attended a Dallas Cowboys game at AT&T Stadium with one of my college buddies. It is an iconic stadium and features iconic cheerleaders. Doesn’t get much better than that, except for the fact that a female two seats over from me threw up on herself before the game even started. She was not a Cowboys cheerleader, so it wasn’t a fun thing to experience but hope the female is OK.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
RIP Bob Barker
Bob Barker, the legendary host of the Price is Right, passed away over the weekend. He was 99, literally coming as close to $1.00 as he could. May he rest in peace.
Barker was an American icon as he entertained retirees, kids who did not go to school on days when their little tummies hurt, and countless others for decades.
Barker’s true claim to fame, at least in my world, was his cameo in Happy Gilmore, where he was paired up with Happy in the Pepsi Pro-Am. What should have been an iconic duo, given that Barker won the Pro-Am the previous year and given that Happy could hit the ball a mile, ended with assault. Can you blame Barker for the scuffle? He’s sadly deceased now, so there’s no reason to pile on. But let the record reflect that Barker kicked Happy’s 🐶 ass.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BACK
Week 0 did not really provide a lot of fireworks in terms of the matchups (it never does), but it’s great to finally have college football back on televisions and streaming devices across the country!
Notre Dame played Navy in Ireland, and based on the final score (42-3), it is clear that the Golden Domers do not respect the troops. The Irish scored five touchdowns on their first five possessions, and transfer QB Sam Hartman was 19-of-23 for 251 yards and four touchdowns.
Notable games this weekend (all times CST):
Florida at Utah (Thursday, 7 p.m., ESPN)
Former Badger quarterback Graham Mertz’s first game in a Gator uniform. Maybe his performance against the Utes will mirror his performance in his very first collegiate game, one in which he completed 20-of-21 passes for 248 yards and five touchdowns. It will probably not if y’all want me to call a spade, a spade.
Utah is the reigning Pac-12 (RIP) champion and is a 6.5-point favorite, as of publication.
Colorado at TCU (Saturday, 11 a.m., FOX)
Deion Sanders’ first game as head coach for the Buffs, and he is facing off against last year’s national title runner-up. Lotsa roster turnover for Colorado, so I expect them to get smoked like BBQ in Fort Worth.
Buffalo at Wisconsin (Saturday, 2:30 p.m., FS1)
Luke Fickell’s first game in the red and white.
As of this writing, the Badgers are 28-point favorites, so it is likely to be a glorified scrimmage but who the hell cares, because it is a brand-new chapter in Badger football history. Makes me want to run through a brick wall, but with a helmet on because hospital bills are outrageously expensive.
Over or under five passing touchdowns for QB Tanner Mordecai?
UNC vs South Carolina (Charlotte, NC; Saturday, 6:30 p.m., ABC)
UNC QB Drake Maye is a Heisman hopeful and is likely to be a top-five selection in the 2024 NFL Draft, but his defense was hot trash in 2022. It could be the same, it could be different; I have no idea.
South Carolina exceeded expectations a year ago, so will the Gamecocks build upon that momentum in 2023? QB Spencer Rattler finished the 2022 season strong, but he still threw 12 total interceptions and registered a Total QBR of 57.6, which ranked 68th in the country and 12th in the SEC.
LSU vs Florida State (Orlando, FL; Sunday, 6:30 p.m., ABC)
Top-10 matchup.
Will HC Brian Kelly and his squad take a big leap this year and unseat Alabama in the SEC West?
Florida State last won the ACC in 2014. Will they topple Clemson, a program that has won the conference seven times in the last eight years?
A fair amount of NFL talent will be on the field Monday night, so it may be worthwhile to check it out to cure the Monday scaries.
EXPANSION IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL
According to several media outlets, the ACC presidents will chit-chat at some point in the near future to decide whether they will add Cal, Stanford, and/or SMU. (They were scheduled to meet on Monday night, but that get-together was postponed due to the school shooting at the University of North Carolina.)
I heard from a little birdie — of course, not the one that got smoked by a Randy Johnson fastball back in the day because that birdie is dead — a few weeks ago that SMU was going to join the conference. If that comes to fruition, please credit Tubz Unfiltered. If it doesn’t, then take my statement as a joke.
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
Potawatomi casino gambling revenue stays flat as tribe prepares to fight new competitors
I’m confident that you don’t care whether the Potawatomi casino in Milwaukee had its revenue stay flat or increase. But you might care, or most likely, find it interesting that they raked in over $400 million in gambling revenue — a good reminder that the house always wins.
S/O chain smoker Janet and motorized scooter rider Ruth for helping the cause by religiously yanking on the slot machine handles.
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz