Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 120
March Madness Recap; Two Gambling Scandals
Happy Tuesday, y’all!
I’ve got a sports-only Volume this week. I could write about, among other topics, the federal raid of P. Diddy’s two homes in connection with sex trafficking, leading him to allegedly hop on his black private jet — that color screams “I’m a moron and not sly whatsoever,” but I digress — to evade the authorities before the raid, but I’ll save that story for a rainy day. And it ain’t rainin’ here in Dallas.
Let’s break bread.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
MARCH MADNESS FIRST WEEKEND RECAP
Here’s a potential hot take to start things off: I love upsets in the first round and the occasional bracket buster in the second round, but the tournament is at its best when the best teams play each other in the Sweet 16 and beyond. And that is exactly what we are getting — there is only one double-digit seed remaining (NC State) and all of the top-two seeds advanced to the Sweet 16 for only the fifth time since 1985, when the brackets expanded to 64 teams. Starting with the East Region …
The University of Connecticut Huskies entered the NCAA Tournament as the favorites to hoist the trophy, and after 80 minutes of play, they remain in the same position after dismantling both of their early-round opponents. They are now 2nd in Adjusted Offensive Efficiency (“AdjO”) and 8th in Adjusted Defensive Efficiency (“AdjD”). The Huskies will square off against San Diego State in a rematch of the 2023 National Championship. The Aztecs shoved the Yale Nerds in a locker in the second round.
We have a doozy of a Sweet 16 matchup between Illinois, ranked No. 1 in AdjO, and Iowa State, ranked No. 1 in AdjD. Imagine thinking the Fightin’ Joseph Smiths, otherwise referred to as the BYU Cougars, could have given the Illini a test in the second round. Silly! BYU, who played scared from my vantage point as if they were threatened with being forced to drink coffee at midnight if they lost, came up short in the first round to Duquesne, who captured its first win in the Big Dance since 1969.
It looks like UNC and Arizona, the top two seeds in the West Region, are on a collision course to meet in the Elite 8, which will be known as the Caleb Love Bowl. The Tar Heels started slowly against Sparty in Round 2 but went on a couple of big scoring runs throughout to ultimately pull away, led by three players that finished at least 17 points. Head coach Hubert Davis improved to 7-1 in March Madness with the dub. Tom Izzo, coined by many as Mr. March, has only made it to the second weekend twice in the last seven tournaments. Huh. UNC will face off against Alabama, who squeaked by Grand Canyon in the second round. The Antelopes had every opportunity to win that game and yet looked like a second-grade basketball team at the local YMCA on a Saturday morning down the stretch.
Arizona, who moved inside the top 10 in both AdjO (9th) and AdjD (10th), will play Clemson in the Round of 16 in Los Angeles. It is only the fifth time that the Tigers, the second-worst KenPom team remaining in the field, have made the Sweet 16 in the history of the program (first since 2018); they haven’t made it to the Elite 8 since 1980. Baylor had a chance to tie the game late against Clemson in the Round of 32 but missed both free throws. Hate to see it. To the South we go …
Played right down the street from me at the American Airlines Center, Houston and Duke will battle on Friday night in a game that I hope ends in a tie.1 Houston won a rock fight in overtime against Texas A&M in the Round of 32, with four Cougar starters fouling out. Ryan “Whitey McGee” Elvin, a walk-on and a dude who his teammates spoke very highly of after the game, hit one of two free throws with 17 seconds left in overtime to give the Cougars a four-point lead. A&M shot 29/45 from the charity stripe. Not gonna cut it! Meanwhile, Duke absolutely throttled James Madison in the second round, a funny result seeing as how JMU looked like the Monstars against the Badgers. No further comment on that.
Marquette got a clutch bucket from Tyler Kolek (21 PTS, 11 AST, 5 REB) to put his squad up three with under a minute left against Colorado, clinching the Golden Eagles’ first trip to the Sweet 16 since 2013. HC Shaka Smart & Co. will square off against Mr. Popeyes Double Biscuit, DJ Burns (24 PTS, 10 REB, 4 AST in the second round), and the NC State Wolfpack, who were playing their seventh game in 12 days but still came away victorious against Oakland, this year’s Cinderella darling, in the Round of 32. (NC State will play in the Sweet 16 for the first time since 2015.) Oakland took down Goliath, a la Kentucky, in the opening round, behind the three-point wetness of Jack Gohlke, a Pewaukee (WI) native. Gohlke splashed 16 three-pointers in the first two games, including 10 against the Wildcats, setting an NCAA Tournament record for the most three-pointers in a player's first two tournament games. Kentucky is the Dallas Cowboys of college basketball — a flashy program that has success in the regular season but has massively choked in the postseason as of late. Last but not least …
Purdue pistol-whipped and robbed Utah State in broad daylight in the second round, setting up an offensive firework show in the Round of 16 with Gonzaga. The Boilermakers and the Zags are both in the top 10 of AdjO (3rd and 7th, respectively). It is the ninth consecutive trip to the Sweet 16 for Gonzaga and Mark Few, tied for the third-longest streak in NCAA history. The Purdue-Gonzaga winner will face off against the winner of Creighton-Tennessee.
The Blue Jays played in arguably the game of the tournament against Oregon, who I warned could give Creighton fits. And the Ducks should have won, up four with under a minute remaining, but N'Faly Dante (28 PTS, 20 REB) missed the front end of a one-and-one with 27 seconds left, which paved the way for Baylor Scheierman to hit a turnaround jumper to send the game into overtime. Oregon guard Jermaine Couisnard hit a contested game-tying three with 16.9 seconds left in the first overtime, his 32nd point of the ball game, forcing a second overtime. Past my bedtime! Creighton dominated the second OT period by scoring the first 15 points. Couisnard and Dante scored all but two points for the Ducks in the second half and both overtime periods. Meanwhile, four of Creighton’s five starters had at least 18 points, with two of them playing 50 minutes.
A Creighton-Purdue matchup with a trip to the Final Four on the line sounds like a nice nightcap as I recover from my Reese’s eggs-induced coma on Easter Sunday.
OHTANI INVOLVED IN GAMBLING SCANDAL
Shohei Ohtani, the face of the sport but also potentially the next Michael Jordan for reasons you might not think, has accused his interpreter and confidant, Ippi Mizuhara, of stealing at least $4.5 million from Ohtani's bank account, via wire transfers, to pay off a bookie, who is currently being investigated by the feds. Ohtani and his camp reportedly reached out to law enforcement late last week regarding the “massive theft.” Lots to unpack!
A PR person from Ohtani’s camp originally told ESPN that Ohtani, who signed a deal worth $700 million in the offseason and will reportedly make $65 million in endorsements in 2024, helped Mizuhara pay off the interpreter’s gambling debts. “ESPN had reviewed bank information showing Ohtani's name on two $500,000 payments sent in September and October.” Mizuhara was apparently brain-dead at gambling, betting on a host of sports (no baseball, allegedly, which means he probably bet on baseball) beginning in 2021 while losing left and right. He sure was committed, though, no doubt about that.
After Ohtani agreed to pay the debts, Mizuhara said on Tuesday, Ohtani logged onto his own computer and sent the wire transfers under Mizuhara's supervision in installments over several months last year. They added "loan" to the description field in the transactions.
Mizuhara sat down with ESPN for a 90-minute interview last Tuesday and laid everything out in great detail, only for Ohtani’s camp to disavow those statements the day after. In an interview on Wednesday, “Mizuhara told ESPN that Ohtani had no knowledge of his gambling debts and that Ohtani had not transferred money to the bookmaker's associate.” Interesting little twist!
The bookie, Mathew Bowyer, saw the name on the wire transfer but never asked questions. An ESPN source said that “Bowyer allowed people to believe Ohtani was a client in order to boost business.” A cookie-cutter LA entrepreneur, like you read about.
In classic Friday news dump fashion, the MLB announced that it was launching an investigation. The league will undoubtedly do everything in its power to protect the face of the sport.
Ohtani held a press conference Monday, but the superstar did not take any questions. Instead, he said that Mizuhara is an awful gambler and a choke artist, comparing him to LAD manager Dave Roberts in the playoffs when not playing in a Mickey Mouse World Series.2
I never bet on baseball or any other sports or never have asked somebody to do that on my behalf. I have never went through a bookmaker to bet on sports. Up until a couple of days ago, I didn't know that this was happening.
The first time Ohtani learned about gambling, he said, was when Mizuhara addressed the Dodgers after their opening game in South Korea.
During the team meeting, obviously Ippei was speaking English but I didn't have a translator by my side. But even with that, I kind of understood what was going on and started to feel there was something amiss. Prior to the meeting, I was told by Ippei, 'Let's talk one-on-one after the meeting in the hotel.' So I waited. So up until that team meeting, I didn't know Ippei had a gambling addiction and was in massive debt.
And it was revealed to me in that meeting that Ippei admitted that he was sending money, using my account, to the bookmaker. At that moment, obviously it was an absurd thing that was happening, and I contacted my representatives at that point. When I finally was able to talk to my representatives, that's when my representatives found out Ippei had been lying the whole time. And that's when I began contacting the Dodgers and my lawyers. The Dodgers and the lawyers at that moment found out as well that they'd been lied to.
I simply do not know how one does notice at least $4.5 million missing from one’s bank account. Not to mention, there are strict regulations when transferring large sums of money, such as $500k, via wire transfer — and “banks have callback procedures that enact dual controls,” used for identity verification purposes.
So do I think that Ohtani was scammed out of that money? It’s possible, especially because it’s ill-advised to go to law enforcement with a specific allegation when you know it’s not true. It’s equally possible that he was helping out his buddy pay off gambling debts — remember, ESPN literally saw Ohtani’s name on those aforementioned payments — but then reversed the original narrative when his PR team realized that’s, um, a bad look and would put him in hot water. I don’t think Ohtani is a massive degenerate himself, but it’s at least a nonzero chance. Such a story would be juicier than Real Housewives drama.
Those are the three possibilities based on the information provided thus far.
We’ll see how it shakes out.
TORONTO RAPTORS BASKETBALL PLAYER = NEXT IN THE DUMB DUMB HALL OF FAME?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. And one of those prizes is banishment from the National Basketball Association in all likelihood.
Jontay Porter, a big ole 24-year old dumb dumb who played his college ball at Mizzou and the younger brother of Michael Porter Jr., is at the center of a gambling scandal as there was unusual betting activity on his prop bets (specifically, the under) for a game on Jan. 26 and a game on March 20. Science says that people’s brains aren’t fully developed until the age of 25, and this story confirms that.
Props for the first game, against the LA Clippers (Porter exited the game after reaggravating a boo-boo on his eye; he played four minutes of action):
5.5 points (under)
4.5 rebounds (under)
1.5 assists (under)
0.5 3PM (under)
“DraftKings Sportsbook stated that the under on Porter's 3-pointers was the biggest money winner for bettors of any NBA player props from games that evening.”
Props for the second game, against the Sacramento Kings (Porter exited the game after his tummy hurt; he played only three minutes):
7.5 points (under)
5.5 rebounds (under)
“DraftKings Sportsbook reported in a media release that Porter's prop bets were the No. 1 moneymaker from the night in the NBA.”
Multiple betting accounts attempted to place fat stacks on the under for Porter’s props against the Clippers — “upward of $10,000 and $20,000” — but sportsbooks typically limit bets on props to between $1k and $2k.
Porter and his homies weren’t even trying to be coy with their endeavors. Sure, they could have instructed Porter to toss up brick after brick, but that would be too obvious. So some dude probably thought he was cookin’ with gasoline when he told Porter to simply exit the game after a short time. Porter was on board with that strategy. Allegedly.
What happened to the notion that life is too short to bet the under? We used to be a proper gambling country.
The NBA3, wondering how something like this could happen …
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Dallasites hate Houstians, and vice versa. And I hate Duke with every fiber of my being. Doesn’t matter if I lived in Dallas, Timbuktu, or in those tents erected by the Clinton’s in Haiti.
He didn’t actually say that. But it’s at least believable!
The NBA have two co-official sports betting partners and allowed players under the new CBA to “participate in sports betting or fantasy sports endorsement that involves general brand endorsement or endorsement of betting on non-NBA sports” and “hold passive, non-controlling interest in sports betting or fantasy companies, limited to less than 1% stake for companies that offer or facilitate NBA bets or contests.”