🏆 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 130
'Rawdogging' Flights; Stanley Cup Finals; Pondering
Happy Tuesday (+ a day), y’all!
I hope someone hawk tuahs (tuahes? idk) on that bald head of yours and doesn’t wish you a happy 4th of July, Matt.1 To everyone else, please subscribe and share with your friends. For America.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Why Men Are ‘Rawdogging’ Flights
First things first, before we dissect this bad boy, allow me to point out that this act should not be called “rawdogging.” There is one act, and one act only, that should be referred to as “rawdogging.” If for some reason you do not know what “rawdogging” means, no sweat, but you will not find an explanation here. This is not a sex education newsletter. Moving on to the meat and potatoes!
Doing nothing but stare at the flight screen throughout the entire portion of a seven-hour flight is looney tunes behavior. Let’s call a spade a spade — it’s not called “rawdogging” or “flying raw” or “bareback;” it’s called being a monk. And who in the hell wants to be a monk?
Don’t get me wrong, though. Brief moments of peace and quiet on a flight, where you simply sit alone with your thoughts without any stimulation, are good. Hell, they are even great. (This does not include sleeping. That’s cheating.)
But for the entire duration of the flight, without food or water? No, thanks. Hard pass. A surefire way to end up in the looney bin and/or end up going viral on social media for saying something along the lines of, “that motherf’er back there is not real.” I much prefer to keep my sanity by indulging in my personal crack machines and calling it a day.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
STANLEY CUP FINALS
Nothing is better than a Game 7 to decide a championship. And if there is one word to sum up this year’s Stanley Cup Finals, it’s this: Redemption.
A year removed from coming up short in their quest for the Cup, the Florida Panthers avoided one of the biggest meltdowns the sport has ever seen and bullied the Edmonton Oilers in the penultimate game en route to the franchise’s first Stanley Cup. Sam Reinhart scored the eventual game-winning goal with roughly five minutes left in the second period as Florida improved to 69-0-4 when leading after two periods (regular season and playoffs). In sum, Florida laid the boom throughout and wore Edmonton out, owning a 32-21 advantage in hits.
It’s a preposterous achievement for the Panthers when you consider the state of the franchise earlier this century. After losing in the 1996 Stanley Cup Finals, they did not register a playoff series win until the 2022 postseason. *Does back-of-the-napkin math* 25 years without a playoff series victory! And in the early 2000s, they were literally giving thousands of tickets away for free.
Now, the organization will forever see its name engraved on Lord Stanley.
In 2006, the Panthers were averaging over 4,100 free tickets handed out for each home game. In 2008, the team introduced the "First Timer" program, in which anyone with a valid Florida driver's license could get two free tickets to a game.
In 2010, after LeBron James made his decision to take his talents to South Beach, the Panthers responded by offering season tickets in the upper deck for $6 per game, ostensibly in honor of his new uniform number with the Heat. Even that price point didn't generate enough sales -- the team announced that summer that it was going to tarp off 2,000 upper deck seats for most home games.
Even though Oilers superstar Connor McDavid won the Conn Smythe Trophy (Postseason MVP) in a losing effort, after registering the fourth most points in a single NHL postseason with 42, including 34 assists (a postseason record), I do wonder if fans start to call him McJudas, instead of McJesus, since he let down a whole bunch of people in the biggest spot. He did not produce a single point in Game 7 and only registered two shots on goal.
VILLANOVA BROS BACK TOGETHER
With former Villanova stars Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart, and Donte DiVincenzo already on the squad, the New York Knicks added the final infinity stone to their roster: Mikal Bridges. They gave up a lot to get that final stone. In fact, they might have given up too much.
Per ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski: Four unprotected first-rounders (2025, 2027, 2029 and 2031), a protected 2025 first-round pick via the Milwaukee Bucks, and the Knicks' unprotected 2028 pick swap.
¡Ay, caramba!
Bridges, who averaged 19.6 points, 4.5 rebounds, and 3.6 assists per game this past season, has not missed a game since being drafted in 2018, so he should fit right in with head coach Tom Thibodeau’s grind-to-the-bone style.
NBA DRAFT
The 2024 NBA Draft is finally here (who cares, amirite?), with the first round taking place tonight (Wednesday; 7 p.m. CST on ESPN/ABC) and the second round taking place tomorrow (3 p.m. CST on ESPN). It’s the first time the NBA Draft will stretch over two days since the league shortened the draft to two rounds in 1989.
By almost all accounts, this year’s class is dog water. We’ll see whether that ends up being true.
🤓 BATH TIME PONDERING 🤓
Who is more famous/well-known among the U.S. population — Peyton Manning or Morgan Wallen?
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
Some might call this bald-on-bald crime. That’s OK.