📺 Tubz Unfiltered - Volume 150
Succession in real life; CFP Bracket + Juan Soto; UnitedHealthcare CEO killing
Happy Tuesday Wednesday, y’all!
I’ve come to realize that adulthood is a constant stream of, “after this week, things will slow down,” until retirement.
🛁 EXTRA BUBBLES 🛁
Rupert Murdoch loses battle to control succession to his media empire
Succession in real life! The hit HBO TV show is reportedly loosely based on the Murdoch family and their media empire, although it is reportedly also loosely based on other prominent family businesses as well.
Nevertheless, the “I’m the Eldest Boy” line very well might have came from the Murdoch soapbox. Rupert wanted to give complete control of the media empire, which includes FOX News and News Corp., to Lachlan, his oldest son and “most likeminded child,” after Rupert passed. Connor, Shiv, and Roman, er, James, Elisabeth and Prudence essentially said, “the hell you are, pops.”
And they got their wish as a Nevada court ruled that they “will retain control over their father’s media empire upon his death.” The court found some fishy business going down (excellent legalese, I know), concluding that Rupert and Lachlan “acted in ‘bad faith’ in their attempts to change the terms of an irrevocable trust that divides control of the company.” The four adult children had equal voting power.
The case will head to a district probate court judge to ultimately accept the ruling.
🏆 SPORTZ 🏆
CFB CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP
The first 12-team playoff bracket is finally here, and it is quite evident to me, first and foremost, that giving a first-round bye to the top-four conference champions is the stupidest thing imaginable. For example, undefeated Oregon, fresh off a Big Ten title, has to presumably beat the sixth-ranked team (Ohio State) and the third-ranked team (Texas) just to get to the National Championship. Meanwhile, Penn State hosts a playoff game against SMU (more on them below), who lost on a last-second field in the ACC title game to Clemson, and then will face off against Boise State, the ninth-ranked team. Similar path for Texas, who lost in the SEC title game to Georgia.
The first-round byes should be reserved for the teams the CFP Committee deems as the four best teams.
Quick reaction on SMU getting in over Alabama: I’m glad. If the Crimson Tide want to complain, they shouldn’t have lost to Vanderbilt or got their doors blown against Oklahoma on the road. And as to the strength of schedule argument brought forth by the Crimson Tide AD Greg Byrne and how Alabama will need to assess its out-of-conference scheduling, I don’t think it’s a good argument. First, the three games Alabama lost, including the two aforementioned stinkers, were conference games. Second, it seems like one’s strength of schedule can be suboptimal, but if it is, the margin for error is razor thin. For instance, if Indiana would have lost two games this season with their cupcake schedule, I don’t think the Hoosiers are in the CFP.
Moving along! Allow me to go off the beaten path: Penn State is an under-the-radar team to play for the national title. They won’t actually play for a national title, of course, because head coach James Franklin chokes in big games more than me when I’m eating BBQ, but the path is there. A massive talent discrepancy exists between SMU, Boise State, and the Nittany Lions. Advantage: Penn State. Not to mention, Georgia starting QB Carson Beck suffered an elbow injury against the Longhorns, and “there is no timetable for Beck's potential return,” according to a statement. Notre Dame’s defense is one of the best units in the country, so QB Drew Allar & Co. will have to be on his A-game but he has the tools to get hot.
As far as who I think is going to win, it’s the Oregon Ducks, a prediction that is the farthest thing from off the beaten path. Such a prediction is almost solely predicated on the massive advantage they have at the quarterback position with Dillon Gabriel, relative to the rest of the field. Maybe Texas QB Quinn Ewers can return to his early season form. Maybe OSU QB Will Howard can magically not suck. Maybe Allar can catch a lightning in a bottle. I could keep on going down the list. Either way, Gabriel has been as steady as they come, particularly over the last five games; he has thrown 10 TDs (and rushed for another two) and only one interception over that span.
NFL WEEK 14 RECAP
I was in Boston over the weekend, so I didn’t get a chance to watch any NFL games in their entirety (and I fell asleep at halftime of the Packers-Lions game). So rest assured, some teams won, some teams lost. I’ll make sure to watch a game or two this weekend to make up for it. But I want to give y’all something, so below are the playoff standings with four games to go.
AFC
(1) Kansas City Chiefs (12-1)
(2) Buffalo Bills (10-3)
(3) Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3)
(4) Houston Texans (8-5)
(5) Baltimore Ravens (8-5)
(6) Los Angeles Chargers (8-5)
(7) Denver Broncos (8-5)
NFC
(1) Detroit Lions (12-1)
(2) Philadelphia Eagles (11-2)
(3) Seattle Seahawks (8-5)
(4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-6)
(5) Minnesota Vikings (11-2)
(6) Green Bay Packers (9-4)
(7) Washington Commanders (8-5)
JUAN SOTO TO THE NEW YORK METS
Can the Milwaukee Brewers move back to the American League?
Juan Soto and the New York Mets agreed to the largest contract in the history of professional sports, inking a 15-year, $765-million deal. It “includes no deferred money … and has escalators that can reach above $800 million,” according to ESPN’s Jeff Passan. Soto can opt-out after five years, but the team can void that “by escalating his average annual value from $51 million to $55 million over the final 10 years,” per The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal. In the first five years of the deal, he’ll earn $220 million in salary and $75 million by way of a signing bonus, for a whopping grand total of $305 million, as reported by MLB.com’s Mark Feisand.
David Stearns just spent more money on Juan Soto ($765MM) than he spent on the entire Brewers payrolls combined over his 7 seasons in Milwaukee (~$610MM)
Juan Soto’s new contract is worth $765,000,000. The Reds’ Opening Day payroll from 2017 through 2024 combined adds up to $788,433,455
The Mets just committed more money to Juan Soto ($765 million) than the #Pirates have committed to their entire payroll over the last 10 years ($757 million). Unfortunate for fans of small market teams that this type of imbalance is allowed to happen.
Make no mistake about it, Soto is a generational talent, as evidenced by his five Silver Slugger awards in his first eight seasons, and only 26 years old. Still, by and large, the deal is a massive overpay. He’s no bueno in the field — he has never registered a positive Defensive WAR in a single season — so he will likely resort to playing exclusively DH in the back half of the deal. That’s a lot of coin for someone who is one-dimensional.
But owner Steve Cohen, who is reportedly worth $21.3 billion, does not give a rat’s ass about whether or not it was an overpay. (1) He likely wanted to assert dominance over his crosstown rival and Soto’s former team, the New York Yankees. (2) Soto brings them closer to winning a championship. That’s all Cohen cares about — bringing a championship to Queens. That’s why he bought the team. He looks at the Mets like a pet project, like a philanthropic endeavor. “I said in my original press conference, if I can make millions of people happy, how cool is that? And so, I actually view it as a civic responsibility,” Cohen said in a prior interview.
Cohen, when he’s in the vicinity of other owners:
🤓 BATH TIME READING 🤓
UNITEDHEALTHCARE CEO SHOOTER APPREHENDED
As much as I would love to provide y’all with every tidbit of information I read on the internet, this breakdown will exclusively consist of information from verified news sources. I will not turn this into a JFK-level conspiracy breakdown.
As I’m sure you’ve heard/read by now, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of UnitedHealthcare, Brian Thompson, was shot and killed outside of a Midtown Manhattan hotel by Luigi Mangione, 26, on December 4 at 6:44 a.m. The double UPenn graduate, who comes from a wealthy Maryland family and graduated valedictorian from an expensive all-boys school (Gilman School in Baltimore, MD), was apprehended Monday at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania,1 where a McDonald’s employee recognized him. “Police said he had a gun similar to the one used in the shooting (reportedly, a 3D ghost gun), a silencer and a fake ID,” according to NBC News. In addition, Mangione “had several thousand dollars in cash on him at the time of his arrest,” although he insinuated in court that the dolla dolla bills were “a plant or something.”
The authorities also recovered a written manifesto from his belongings, which stated, among other things, “‘These parasites had it coming’ and ‘I do apologize for any strife and trauma, but it had to be done.’”
The manifesto found on Luigi Mangione mentions UnitedHealthcare by name, noting the size of the company and how much money it makes, according to a senior law enforcement official who saw the document. The manifesto also broadly condemns health-care companies for placing profits over care, the official said.
He was charged in Pennsylvania with forgery, possession of an unlicensed firearm, tampering with records or identification, instruments of a crime, and providing false identification to law enforcement. Late Monday night, he was charged in New York (Manhattan) with five felonies: second-degree murder, three counts of criminal possession of a weapon (two counts of second-degree criminal possession and one count of third-degree criminal possession), and criminal possession of a forged instrument, according to Forbes. The second-degree murder charge alone carries a life sentence without the possibility of parole.
Luigi’s mother (Mama Mia?) reported him missing last month “possibly from a home in San Francisco, law enforcement sources told The Post.” Mangione had a last known address in Honolulu, Hawaii. His time in Hawaii is worth highlighting. Mangione told R.J. Martin, who lived in the same co-living community in Hawaii as Mangione, in 2022 about his on-again, off-again back issues and was hoping to get in shape ahead of potential back surgery, per the New York Times. Mangione’s symptoms reportedly worsened after taking a group surf lesson, so much so that he passed on dating (the apps are a waste of time if we’re being honest) because, according to Martin, “he knew that dating and being physically intimate with his back condition wasn’t possible. I remember him telling me that, and my heart just breaks.”
Mangione opted for back surgery in 2023 and reportedly had not been in contact with his relatives at some point since undergoing back surgery.
“Our family is shocked and devastated by Luigi’s arrest,” the family said in a statement shared by his cousin Nino Mangione, a Republican Baltimore County delegate, late Monday.
“We offer our prayers to the family of Brian Thompson and we ask people to pray for all involved. We are devastated by this news.”
Several other people were also unable to get ahold of Mangione.
In July, one man tagged an account that appears to be Mangione’s and said he hadn’t heard from him in months. “You made commitments to me for my wedding and if you can’t honor them I need to know so I can plan accordingly,” the man wrote in a post on X that was deleted on Monday afternoon following his apprehension. In another post from less than two weeks ago, someone said Mangione was in their prayers. “Know you are missed and loved,” the person wrote.
Obviously a sad situation all around. It appears to my non-doctor eye (I am a doctor of law, for what it’s worth) that there is a severe mental illness at play here. As police officers escorted him from a squad car in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, where he is currently jailed and fighting extradition to New York, Mangione, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, appeared to shout, “It’s completely out of touch and an insult to the intelligence of the American people and the lived experience!”2
If you chuckled and/or enjoyed it, make sure to forward it to others and/or share it on social. Any corrections, omissions, suggestions, etc., send 'em my way. Much love. -Tubz
The McDonald’s reportedly in question — 407 E Plank Road — has 3.6 stars on Google, so it is definitely possible he didn’t even get one last good meal before he headed to the slammer. From the McDonald’s Play Pen to the Concrete Play Pen. Yikes.
My response when my girlfriend says I can’t watch seven hours of commercial-free football.